The 2012 G-force Coverage of the Republican Presidential Race: Part Ten: Pastor of the Baskervilles

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Sweet Jesus Mary Mother of Christ on a tricycle!!! I just discovered the most sickening piece of news any human can hear!!! Remember the guy in Florida who wanted to burn the Korans? Remember him? The guy who was blamed for inciting Islamist militants into killing US soldiers?

He's running for President of the F***ing United States of America.

What kind of country IS this? In any other nation, the mere thought of this jackass running for elected office would be enough to send people into conniptions. But over here, it doesn't even make the front page.

The guy's name is Terry Jones (With ABSOLUTELY no relation to Henry Jones Jr.), and he announced his candidacy as an Independent in October 2011. Some more interesting facts about him, apart from his sociopathic holy book arson: He went to High School with Rush Limbaugh, and graduated with him. That school's pumped out some real winners, hasn't it? Jones's hometown is also the childhood home of the Antichrist.

Plus, he lost his job as a pastor back in 2009, for "Creating a climate of control and fear." WHAT THE HELL? What's wrong with this guy? But the funniest part of all this comes from his campaign announcement, during which he declared he "Wasn't as smart as Herman Cain, but as I listened to the presidential candidates, they are not letting Americans know the condition we are in."

I don't know what the big deal is about the Koran. It doesn't say anything much more hateful than something you'd find in the Bible. Note: I cannot estimate the factuality of these statements, as I have never read either the Koran or the Bible. In fact, I don't even have a Bible in my house. Wait... have I ever SEEN a Bible?

Woah... maybe not. I couldn't even find one in that hotel room I stayed at... this raises so many mind-boggling questions! Does the Bible really exist? I don't know! I've never seen it! Can't say the same for the Koran though. There's a picture of it just two paragraphs up.

The easy way to fix all this would be to make flame-retardant Korans. If they can do it with American flags, I don't see why they can't do it with holy books. Hey... if you go to Iran, is there a copy of the Koran in the hotel room drawer?

So many unanswered questions. I guess the only take-away from this post is the fact that Terry Jones will never win any nomination of any kind, so let's just humor him.

Bye!