2001: A Space Idiocy

Helloooooooooooooooo, people who found this blog after searching the web randomly! As you may have guessed from the title, I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey last night. Oy vey. That thing was more confusing than when McCain picked Palin as his VP. The only part of it that I understood was the 'HAL' storyline, with the whole 'Dave? Dave? I don't think I can do that, Dave.'

Anyway, I'm not even going to try to explain this movie, at risk of causing my readers' heads to explode.

However, moving on: My April Fool's Day pranks went off without a hitch. I stole everything out of my friend's desk, scattering it all over the room (I hid his eraser in the paper towel dispenser). For those of you who think that's too cruel, he had just done the same to me, and I never take a prank laying down. The exploding wasabi, however, didn't work as well. Let's just say I'll be staying after school for the next 5 1/2 years.

And now it's time for...

AN OLD MAN RANT FROM BOB '5-SHOT' SELKOWITZ. The following is not typed or produced by any liberal at G-force nerdworld. The editor and writer of this blog would like to sincerely apologize for the upcoming idiotic Republican rant.

Well, another Easter is here, and you know what that means: Un-pious Democrat bastards will be trying to drop your freshly dyed eggs off the roof of a house. And it's all because of that Kenyan Muslim Socialist Communist Fascist Baby-killing tree-hugging abortion-loving A-1

A-hole BARACK OBAMA. This guy is trying to destroy Easter, along with America, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Independence Day, and your grandmother. But now, people are fighting back, and you can too! Simply complete the following puzzle to find out Obama's evil plot!!!

What is Obama's agenda? Label the following atrocities from one to twenty, in the order that our Kenyan Muslim Socialist president will carry them out!!!

_Marry all gay people in your living room _Shoot a blow-dart at your grandmother's IV bag

_Take away all your guns and cars _Abduct your kids and send them to Al-Qaeda school

_Plaster you with solar panels _Send Joe Biden into your house to bore you to death

_Steal all your three-ply toilet paper _Blow up your nativity scene next Christmas

_Bulldoze your house and turn the lot into a highway for illegal immigrants to come through en route from Mexico to America---- TO STEAL YOUR JOB!!!

_Force-feed you spinach _Use the census information to create an internment camp for pundits

_Change the shape of hot dogs _Disband all churches _Implant a virus in your iPod

_Give Barney Frank a degree in medicine--- HE IS NOW YOUR DOCTOR!!!

_Force all men to have sex-changes, implant a fetus, and abort it _Strangle your pets

_Give all Democrats tax cuts _Declare official war on FOX News

_Demolish Texas and build a 'Monument to Marxism' on the place where Dallas once stood

Thanks!!!

P.S.--- Print this off, fill it out, cut it out, and glue it to your forehead. While it will not protect you from Obama, it will let his agents know you're on to him!

The Headline Contest Answer... drumroll, please.

I'll just get it over with now: the headline contest's answer is 'Biden argues against Obama plan'. Not 'Three legged sheep scoots on new wheels'. Not 'Where is Jackson's brain? Was nose fake?' Not '50,000 bees check in to luxury hotel'. Amazingly enough, it was the least suspectable.

The TOPIC OF INTEREST for today is.................. Forts!!!! Recently, I built a fort out of those grey foam mats they sell in Home Depot. My cat decided to remodel it by jumping on top (destroying it in the process) and so I rebuilt it. The upgraded version has titanium-lithimite rebar coating, a hot tub, cable TV, and an on-line computer.

In my dreams. Kim Jong Il is a ninny.

No, instead it has a lantern (for reading at night) a map of the world and of the US, a special book library, and a copy of the pamphlet 'How to stay Liberal in a Conservative America: Your guide to the Bush years'. It's really informative!!!

I also have begun my book; 'How to stop really fast on the freeway: Your guide to insurance fraud'. I'm writing it as the sequel to 'How to go at it like Tom Dashall: Your guide to cheating the tax codes. Coming soon!

The new brain tickler is: Go through all previous blogs and highlight blank spaces! If you find any random letters, write them on a piece of paper. Mix 'em around and find the first name of a famous person who recently died.

Bye.

The Headline Contest Follow-Up

Helloooooooooooooooooooooo, everyone!!!! I'm gonna give some CNN headline answers in invisible ink. The following headlines are NOT fake: 50,000 bees check in to luxury hotel. Anderson Cooper invites Obama in castle. Bottoms up for mass mooning. Driver killed in Grand Canyon plunge. And finally, Day care plans to sue swim club. There you go. All those were REAL. The most ludicrous ones are probably Texting teen falls into manhole or Where is Jackson's brain? Was nose fake? (space aliens took the brain, anyone's guess as to the nose). Also, one of the following IS actually a headline. This is just for fun; it's not a brain tickler. Here you go:

New Zealand police report George Lucas dead

Whack-a-Kitty video sends Animal Rights reeling

Star Trek convention sells real-life tribbles

New Zealand police report Mitt Romney dead

Anaconda long as bus discovered; new species

New Zealand police report Burt Reynolds dead

Three people commit suicide, claim stock market 'drove them to it'

New Zealand police report Jeff Goldblum dead This one's real!!!!

Mexican market roof collapses, kills 63

New Zealand police report Brad Pitt dead

Imelda Marcos' gravestone found defiled

New Zealand police report Gary Larson dead

It'll be really easy if you watch Stephan Colbert...

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is my new word--- borageous. It's simply another definition for 'stupid idiot', such as @$$hole, buttface, buffoon, baboon, bungler, buttcheek, butt&%&% clown, chump, cretin, crudbrain, dork, dolt, dorkus, dweeb, dingbat, fannie face, fathead, fartface, gunkbrain, geek, hairy ape, idiot, jerk, kick-target, lunk, lump, moron, ninny, octopusface, peabrain, quack, rumpface, rash, simp, stinker, schlep, squidlips, turd, upchucker, vunkleshtien (who knows? Who cares?), wuss, wimp, wino, warthog, walrus, ximulki (see 'vunkleshtien'), yakface, yambrain, yutz, zipperneck (frankenstien)...........

Joe Biden is pulling our legs--- he's a Venusian from Venus!!!

Sorry, heh. I got a LITTLE carried away there. anyway, borageous is the new perfect insult word (next to rassa-frackin'). Bye! A

The CNN headline contest

Hi, everyone! I have the new brain tickler, and, consequentially, the new TOPIC OF INTEREST.

Here goes:

My brain tickler is: Try and find the ONE headline here that's fake. It is near-impossible.

Where is Jackson’s brain? was nose fake?

Man sorry kin made boy, 6, work

50,000 bees check in to luxury hotel

Texting teen falls into manhole

Months after spill, town still choking on ash

Anderson Cooper invites Obama in castle

New speculation about ‘Jon & Date’

Bottoms up for mass mooning

Visitors get clear view down from 103 stories up

3-legged sheep scoots on new wheels

Best small towns in US

Is there life after a sex scandal?

Dog found 1800 miles from home Calvin and Hobbes is the best comic strip.

Obama’s telepromter crashes to floor

Robot paints tweets on tour de france route

Biden argues against Obama plan

Driver killed in Grand Canyon plunge

15 foot shark washes ashore in NY

Eternal moonwalk website honers Jackson

GOP rep: a prescription for pain

911 call launched yearlong Caylee drama

Bacon-flavored ice cream is a winner

Jet crash kills 168, creates huge crater

Cell phone video shows hole in jet ceiling

Day care plans to sue swim club Here's a headline for ya: Letterman held hostage in Brunei!

How to skateboard like a pro

Almost not possible, huh??????

The Survey Winner... Drumroll, please.

Hey, people! I don't like blogging twice in one day, but I need to give my survey results. Here goes.

As you may remember, my survey question was 'What should be the millionth word in the English language?'. The choices were:

Rassa-Frackin', a word which means several baaaaaaad words together.

Oosgangwawa, a word which means 'relating to the thin connection between toothpaste and pasta'.

Chlubmubbadoo, a word which means 'may lotus plants and cinder blocks fall upon your tuckus, brother.'

Irripadezz, a word which refers to the country of Kistipolistan.

And finally, Siglubbachev, a word which refers to the republic of Kissmyassistan (pronounced Kiss-my-ASS-i-stan)

And the winner is... RASSA-FRACKIN'! I hereby DEMAND that this word is added into the English dictionary of 2009! And if you don't... then, well... Chlubmubbadoo to you!

As an after note, I think that Kissmyassistan would've won if it was a possible word to be chosen. Also, the other words will be added into the English language in this order:

#1,000,001: Oosgangwawa

#1,000,002: Siglubbachev

#1,000,003: Chlubmubbadoo

#1,000,004: Irripadezz

Add these words into the computer databases and dictionaries! Goodbye.

The Grand Republic of Kissmyassistan

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL-- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blabba- shnabba zipper-ips-pang!!!! Zorguva shlabba doo! Izzer-plizzer plummerdizzer! That was planned. I just got home and watched two back-to-back Clone Wars episodes. They should have action figures of Cad Bane and the Trandoshan guy who steals R-2. I will now have mucho more time to blog. I heard that the millionth word in the english language will be the newest one as soon as someone makes one up, so I will do so now: please vote on which one I should make the millionth word in the english language:

Rassa-frackin', a word(?) that means the 'f ' word, the 'c' word, the 's' word, the 'a' word, the other 'c' word, the 'h' word, the 'd' word, the 'p' word, another 'c' word, the 'd' word and the 'flakkajakka' word. The last one was uncalled for.

Oosgangwawa, a word(?) which means 'relating to the thin connection between toothpaste and pasta'.

Chlubmubbadoo, a word(?) which means 'may lotus plants and cinder blocks fall upon your tuckus, brother'.

Irripadezz, a word(?) which refers to the country of Kistipolistan, which does not exist.

and finally, a word which refers to the republic of Kissmyassistan: Siglubbachev.

This survey will be added soon. Bye!

The first survey! Yaaaay! (hopefully).

zeebs. sja sinlock wu vuhula ashmoss oosgangwawa... Oh, wait, sorry. I forgot to take off the "Klingon" setting. Tonight is Open House at our school, when everyone and their parents come over to see all of 'the children's wonderful work for the past three trimesters'. This includes my I-search report, which I just finished two minutes ago. Also, if you would like to view this blog in klingon, please press 'one', and nothing will happen. I am going to try to put up a survey, so keep in touch. If you're like my mom, you've already figured out the unbelievably challenging brain tickler, here's the answer and a new one: answer: (in invisible ink) a "color spectrum". The new one is:

____

ALLS

You're welcome.