The Easiest Twenty Bucks I Ever Made.

Blahblahblahhootchywawa. Hi, everyone! I'm trying to start off each new blog in a new way, so this was today's. I have a superduper amazing story, so here it is.

People, before I begin, I've gotta say that I'm not really Mr. Honest. I stole 300 bucks from dad's dresser (but gave them back). I swindled him out of 10 bucks when I sold him a drawing of mine. I forced him to pay me 40 bucks that he owed me fair and square (not exactly the fair part, but you get my point). And just today I got 20 easy smackaroonies off of him.

We had gone over to Santa Rosa to buy a bed for our guest room when we realized we had only $60 (the bed was $100). We bummed around looking for an ATM when finally, dad got a carton of milk from a store (which I immediately drank) and he got $40 cash back. We went over to the guy with the bed, but somehow mom lost $20. We were panicking, but luckily I had $20 in my pocket.

Here's what really happened.

Everything there was true up until the 'mom lost 20 dollars' part. In reality, she had been helping me get the bed into the Izuzu 'Trooper' when I noticed she was holding a 20 dollar bill. Naturally, I grabbed it, expecting an 'oh, Graham, stop it'.

Instead, she said 'alright, the bed looks OK. Let's go'.

Now I was wondering if she was just messing with me, but she didn't seem to even mind. I was getting scared for her sanity when I heard mom say:

'Oh, darn it. I thought I had another 20 in here. How'll we pay for the bed?!?!'

And at that moment, I activated that patented SuperGraham genius that never fails and worked everything to my total advantage.

I came up and said 'oh, mom, I found a 20 in my pocket--- but you owe me $20'.

Dad says 'Yesssssssssssss! I can get my bed!'

Mom says 'Yesssssssssssss! He can get his bed!'

I stand there rolling my eyes.

On the way back, Dad is acting a little skeptical. He says to mom, 'what the he!! happened to your twenty bucks?!?!?!?' Mom says she must've dropped it, and that's when I spoke up.

I told them that I had rigged the whole thing from the very beginning. Mom and dad were both amazed. And so mom payed me 20 bucks for a job well done...

and very easily done, I might add.

Bush screwed up.

Sorry, no topic o' interest today. But tomorrow I'll be tearing into CNN like a wolverine into warm swiss cheese. Bye!