____________ the Whacko

BONZAIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just HAD to begin one of my blogs like that. Now, I KNOW that I haven't blogged for five days. But school cuts into my blogging schedule like a wolverine into warm swiss cheese (there's my favorite metaphor!!! Okay, technically it's a simile. So sue me).

Readers, there is a kid in my class who I simply NEED to tell the world about. On the first day of school, I thought 'Hey, this guy seems pretty cool'. On day two, I thought 'Hmmm. Well, let's not write him off as a TOTAL doofus'. On the third day, 'Okay, this guy's a whacko'.

His name is _______. As you may recall, I can't speak the names of anyone on this. A pain in the @$$, yes, but important.

I think he deserves a whole blog, as well as my first use of the new feature, Dude, where's my dignity? These are the voyages of the Dorkship Whackjobprise. And I am about to unleash this guy's stupidity on an unprepared and helpless internet. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

1) Picture this. In the middle of class, ______ raises his hand and says 'Mrs. ________, I found this paper clip on the floor, can I keep it?'

2) The incident where he said 'Mrs. ______, my zipper's stuck'. (He was referring to his backpack, but still!)

3) The 'Does anyone want to see my sharpie?!?!?' incident.

4) My personal favorite, 'Mrs. _______, my sweatshirt's stuck like this (it was over his head), but I don't want to struggle with it in front of the whole class, can I go outside?' Now, that was not the funny part. The funny part was when he bumped around the classroom, found the door, and in a mad campaign to get the thing off, began jumping up and down like a crazy person.

There have also been numerous other hysterical incidents, many of which are too horrific to describe. Also, I need to mention his most overheard remarks:

1) Aw, SICK!!!! Me and another person in this class tried to think what ______ would do during the nuclear armageddon. While the bombs were dropping, it was unanimously decided he would say 'Aw, SICK!!!'

2) NO! But in this weird whiny voice that kinda drops and rises as he says it, like this:

N O O O

O O O O O O!!!!!!!!!

O O O O O O

O O O O O O

O O O

If you met him, I am CONVINCED you would be repulsed.