Anti-Pasta

Okay, firstly... yes, it's been two months, your eyes are not deceiving you. However, I have a valid excuse-- I've been setting up a new website. You see, recently my movie reviews have been taking over this blog, so I figured I'd make a movie review blog as a subsidiary of G-Force. The problem was, I didn't have enough reviews written to demand a whole new blog site. So I took two months off to write a buttload of movie reviews, ranging from new movies (as well as 32 from 2013) to classics. I beta-tested them on Rotten Tomatoes, and so far, I've gotten some very positive feedback. Once I get the website up and running, I shall use it for all of my movie reviewing needs. Until then, my reviews can be found HERE. I wrote them under a screen name, by the way, so don't be surprised when my account name is Diego John Tutweiller.

In the meantime, I've missed a lot of news stories, from the government shutdown to the chaos in Syria. But today, let's focus more on another news story: PASTA. You wouldn't think that bland, tasteless starch sticks would warrant an entire blog post, but hey, this is a pretty big story right now. In an interview, Guido Barilla, chairman of Barilla Pasta, said that he would never feature same-sex couples in his advertisements, because he believes in "traditional" couples. So here's the new standings for COMPANIES AND WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE!

Johnson & Johnson----- It depends... how long have Johnson and Johnson been living together...?

Chrysler----- Normally would be anti-gay, but was recently acquired by open-minded Italians. Bottom line: What does Silvio think?

Dairy Queen----- Not gonna touch this one.

Playboy----- Really? Did you have to ask?

Apple----- Oreo got smashed for their rainbow Oreo, but have you seen Apple's original logo? Come on.

Lego----- Hard to tell, seeing as their figurines are of indeterminate gender.

Pilsbury----- Again, unknown. But I'm thinking anti, seeing as the Doughboy is too out-of-shape to be gay.

Quaker----- WAAAY too religious. Definitely anti.

Disney----- It's Mickey and MINNIE, not Mickey and Vinnie.

Budweiser----- Their CEO's statement was too unintelligible to call either way.

 Barilla----- Apparently a no. They believe in spaghetti-conchigile marriage, nothing more, nothing less.

Nike----- "I believe that every human being has the right to freedom, liberty, and marriage. Except for our workers. Them we could take or leave". -Michael Jordan.

GO BACK TO YOUR HOMES!!! THE JORDAN HAS SPOKEN!!!

However, it's not this simple, because the other pasta companies (yes, there's more than one, it was a surprise to me too) have decided to respond with ad campaigns such as this one:


Did you catch it? Yeah, that's right-- this is an ad about gay farfalle. I found it kind of odd that the 'straight' couple in the picture was pointing at the gay couple (perhaps yelling a slur of some sort), but I guess that's just my weird mind at work.

So: Should we care about homosexual Italian dishes? I say NO! Because even though gay rights is a big and important issue, there are far more pressing matters in the world of civil rights than pasta ads. Let's focus on getting gay marriage LEGALIZED before we bother worrying about the vaguely bigoted comments of one Italian guy who just so happens to run a highly profitable pasta company. Nobody cared about where their pasta came from before this; they just bought whatever box was closest to their cart. They shouldn't care now either. Seriously, people-- political correctness can be taken too far. It's just pasta.

Bye!