Transformers: Dark of the Moonshine

Boy, oh boy. There haven't been any new developments in the mystery of my trip (the iguana won't crap no matter HOW much food I give him), so I decided to pass the time by catching up on the movies I had missed out on.

I didn't miss much. I just saw the latest installment in the Transformers series, and it lived up to every expectation: On a scale of one to ten, 1.9. This was definitely the weakest Transformers movie I've ever seen, but it's also the most unbelievably visual movie ever. If you watched this thing blind, you'd be lost entirely. But if you watched it deaf, you'd probably enjoy it much more than the so-called dialogue Michael Bay thinks will pass for a script.

I will admit-- I own both Transformers and Revenge of the Fallen. But this is taking it too f'n far. The biggest disappointment was the complete lack of humor that basically carried the whole first movie. The parents are so stereotypical, it was hard not to laugh out loud.

In short, this is just sad. And Michael Bay is without a doubt one of the worst directors ever. His movies are some of the most moronically ridonkulous and deranged I've ever seen. In fact, he only has one movie that got even a semi-good rating on Rotten Tomatoes, (and it's one I've never even heard of). BTW, Transformers got 57%, Revenge of the Fallen got 20%, and Dark of the Moon is currently at 36%, though I have no doubt that will drop.

So: Don't waste your money.

Bye!

<< I'll leave you on a positive note: The worm thing was fantastically awesome. If you see this movie, wear earplugs and a blindfold, and have someone tap you on the shoulder when this thing comes on. That way, you might actually like the movie.

P.S.-- The special effects for Shockwave gave my review all 1.9 stars.