The 2012 G-force Coverage of the Republican Presidential Race: Part One: Iowa & New Hampshire

Well, it's happening. Mitt Romney is slowly becoming the nominee for president. Yeah, that's right. Even though he is a gigantic jackhole who can't say anything without being boring, he has just won Iowa and is, as I type this, in the process of winning New Hampshire.

As opposed to Old Hampshire, I guess. Wherever THAT is. And while we're at it, I'd like the locations of Old Zealand and Old Jersey.

He actually won Iowa by eight votes--- EIGHT! That's fewer people than the peeps who actually saw The Darkest Hour (in theaters now, for the twelve people on the planet who are interested). I swear, someone must do something here. And this means...

I must withdraw from the presidential race.

I know, I know. This seems unexpected. But I need to give my prospective votes away to John Huntsman. He is the only SANE person in the entire freaking Republican party who can decently lose to Barack Obama. Because let's face it; the outcome might not be set in stone, but it IS set in diamond.

Well, there you have it. Oh, and Huntsman came in third, so maybe he will finally be in first place at some time.

Bye!