Corporal America

I saw Captain America: The First Avenger, and I wasn't paying as much attention to the story as I was to one nagging question: Where did he get this rank from? What were his accomplishments as Lieutenant America? And, if he's supposed to be an authority figure, why isn't he Five-Star General America?

That said, Captain America kinda sucks. His only power is punching. Not so cool when you compare it to other heroes, such as Iron Man, Green Lantern, Batman, Superman, Spider-man, The Hulk, The X-Men, The Flash, The Green Hornet, The Submariner, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Daredevil. Even Aquaman has him beat. He does, however, trump the Fantastic Four.

I swear, no other country has their own superhero. There's no 'Lesotho Man' or 'Captain Moldova'. In fact, I don't know of a single superhero from another country. WAIT... there was a crappy Canadian one. Called... who the hell knows.

So, the Captain America movie was cheesy, corny, pretty stupid at points, and somewhat incoherent. But it was the best superhero movie of 2011, so I'm giving it 6/10 stars. Also, Red Skull was pretty good.

Bye!

P.S. I neglected to mention Alpha Flight, Morbius, Starman, the six different generations of X-Men, Captain Marvel, Captain Planet, Cable, Cypher, Deadpool, Green Arrow (DC likes the color green), Dr Manhattan, Mr Fantastic, Fantabulaman, The Punisher, The Comedian, Rorschach, Nite Owl, Wasp, Robin, Superwoman, Batwoman, Spider-girl, Radioactive Man, and Leekar-Man.