Ode to America

I haven't blogged for about two weeks, so I'm going to pack as many blogs as I can into today in order to catch up.

My birthday was ten days ago, on November 8th, and I am now 14. I got everything I asked for, which isn't hard when all you ask for is movies. I got The Hangover, Source Code, Limitless, National Treasure, The Curse of the Black Pearl, and Paul.

Apparently our english teacher is big on poetry, and we had another poem assignment. For this one, we were supposed to write an 'ode to an elder', or someone we looked up to. Well, I'm 6'1'', and I look down on practically everyone, so I did Stephen Colbert. Here it is.

AN ODE TO AMERICA

A face... like America.

Eyes... like America.

A TV show... like America.

The eagle flies at 11:00 PM eastern standard time on Comedy Central.

This... is the Colbert Report.

He’s got a flamboyantly star-spangled set

With red, white, and blue adorning his desk.

A suit that cost more than some small countries do

‘Cause he is America, and so can you!

He’s saved the Olympics, he’s been to Iraq

So CLICK HERE to donate to his super-pac.

You’ll get yourself pwned if you’re on as his guest

He’ll inject you with vials of pure truthiness.

He’s pure patriotic, he roasted George Bush

Until Barbara tried to kick him in the tush.

Don’t mess with him or he’s going to sue you

Please forgive him for acting in ‘The Love Guru’.

If you want to meet him then just go to New York

Compared to him your existence is a quark.

He threw a huge party when we got Osama

He’s hosted George Lucas, McCain, and Obama!

He’s ‘endorsed’ Sarah Palin and ol’ Donald Trump

If you stay on his good side you’ll get Colbert-bumped.

He’s the owner of Captain America’s shield

When you go to his show you’re expected to kneel.

He has a treadmill that’s named for him in space

His book is adorned with some pics of his face.

In Iraq an old General shaved off all his hair.

Don’t go up against him, his name is Colbert!

Well, there you have it-- the follow-up to 'Too Many Choices'. My goal this year is to drive all my teachers up the wall by making a complete mockery of every creative assignment they give me. For instance, today, we were supposed to color in peeps from the signing of the Declaration of Independence (hint- they're all white). We would then cut out their faces and wear them as masks for a 'Constitutional Convention' reenactment. So, anyway, I colored my guy (Nicolas Gilman, some a-hole from New Hampshire) yellow, as a tribute to The Simpsons.

Bye!