One Idiot to Rule Them All

Phew... I have just completed watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy for the first time in five years. I am still exhausted. The damn things are three hours long each. It's unbelievable. How do they get away with this? God damn... One does not simply watch all three LOTR films.

But even I can't milk an entire blog post out of that semi-interesting story, so I'll have to resort to the last bastion of reporting: Actual News. In POLITICS today, we have an incredible s***storm: Rep. Todd Akin of Missouri said today that abortions in cases of rape were "rare" and went on to insinuate that a woman could control pregnancy "If she really wanted to". Understandably, this set off a chain reaction of partisan explosiveness seen before only in the last half-hour of 'Return of the King'. GOD DAMN IT!!! I CAN'T GET THOSE MOVIES OUT OF MY HEAD!!! AAAARGH...

Okay, I'm done. Anyway, the resulting uproar was (for once) totally legitimate, and surprisingly bipartisan. It's not often that Republicans will turn against each other for being TOO crazy, but I guess exceptions have to be made. Besides, the guy basically said that most cases of rape aren't actually 'rape', and have some sort of consensus to them.

So, LET THE DISTANCING BEGIN!!! Every able-minded Republican out there (and there are more of them than you may think) has been declaring Akin's remarks "indefensible" and "outrageous". Most surprising, however, would have to be Scott Walker's declaration that Akin should forfeit the race. Perhaps he thinks that further gaffes could only hurt the Republican party and Mitt Romney. I bet the GOP wishes they could cast Akin's painfully idiotic comment into the fires of Mount Doom, thereby unmaking it... F***!!! AAARRGH!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Those movies really leave a mark on you. Jesus. Anyway, should Akin step aside? NO! I want more of this crap!!! If you think ONE gaffe is enough, it's nowhere near the mounds of s*** the GOP has been spurting out these days! The more screw-ups, the better. And besides, it's not like he could win anyway. The race is all but guaranteed for the Democrats now. It's almost as if some unstoppable force is standing in Akin's way, shouting "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"

God damn it. I need to go to bed.

Bye!