Romney-Ryan 2012: "The Pasty Ticket"

Mitt Romney has officially announced his running mate, declaring this morning that 42-year-old Wisconsin senator PAUL RYAN will be his VP nominee. Now, I can't prove this, but for the past week, I have been telling everyone that Romney was going to pick Ryan. It's f***ing uncanny.

Now, the unusual thing about this is that while the VP is usually supposed to balance the ticket (by being of a different race, gender, or heritage than the President), Ryan does absolutely dick. He is a White Obnoxious Republican Male (WORM), and does nothing to appeal to voters any more than Romney already does. The only difference between the two is their religion, which hasn't factored nearly as much in the political climate as it usually would. In fact, Obama got more flak for 'Being a secret Muslim' than Romney does for actually being a Mormon. You would think the Christian Right would be gnawing at his heels by now.

LOOK AT THIS GUY!!! He looks like an expressionless CHINA DOLL!!! Oh God, look away, he's staring into my SOUL!!! everlasting light

Anyway, that's that. I'm looking forward to the Biden-Ryan debates. Ryan does have one thing over him, though-- correct me if I'm wrong, but he's never needed hair plugs.

Bye!