Comment Wars

I have been completely distracted from my regularly scheduled blogging regimen recently, and for that I apologize-- but I've been working at the library, coming up with an idea for my Summer Engagement Project, finishing off a book for school, watching any and every movie I can possibly get my hands on, and generally plotlining extensively hard.
Graham Vert
However, I am F**KING PISSED THE LIVING F**KING HELL OFF. Yep, you thought I had calmed down recently after the whole Millennial Time Magazine cover-- NOPE! In Texas, a teenager named Justin Carter has been put in jail for F**KING NOTHING. He was arguing over League of Legends on Facebook (which, actually, is a crime in and of itself), and someone called him crazy. He responded by sarcastically saying "Oh yeah, I'm crazy, I'm gonna shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still-beating hearts jk lol"

And of course, the comment has been taken completely out of context by a media whose goal is to spread hatred and distrust for 'kids these days' and a police department trying to remain politically correct. But guess what, people-- THIS IS ABSOLUTELY, INEXCUSABLY, UTTERLY F**KING MORONIC. This is worse than the kid who bit his Pop Tart into the shape of a gun and was suspended. Carter has been in jail since April now, just for writing a Facebook comment. He never committed a crime.

So in the interest of showing that NOBODY is without sin on the internet, I've compiled a list of my favorite comments of mine from my movie-reviewing website, Rotten Tomatoes. As you may recall, this is the site that had to disable individual comments on critic's reviews back in 2012 because the critics were getting too many death threats for not liking The Dark Knight Rises. We haven't come far since then. So, without further ado, here's my LIST OF MY BEST ROTTEN TOMATOES COMMENTS!!!

1) After being told I was a 'flaming homosexual' for not liking Hugo, I proceeded to respond: "Flaming homosexuals are only found in Africa, where gays get their limbs hacked off, gasoline poured over their heads, and set on fire." See how that could be taken the wrong way... OUT OF CONTEXT? But I'm not worried about being sent to jail, seeing as nobody reads this blog.
2) After someone said they didn't like Die Hard, I said "I WILL THROW YOU OUT OF A BUILDING." Too far? Maybe. But it's a reference to the movie. At the end (spoiler alert), John McClane drops Hans Gruber out 32 stories. Someone who didn't get the reference might have thought otherwise, however.

I couldn't find many more, but I think that those are two pretty good examples. However, I have to admit-- usually when I'm on Rotten Tomatoes, I try to post constructive and evaluative comments. Like "YOU ARE THE ANUS OF THE WORLD" or "I MUST BE THE COEN BROTHERS 'CAUSE YOU JUST GOT BURNED AFTER READING!!!"

Anyway... normally I just troll the forums for people who liked crappy movies like Hugo or Up, but it doesn't sound like Carter was doing that AT ALL. But it's pretty difficult to convey sarcasm over the internet. Usually, you just have to either take the person's word for it or practice some READING F**KING COMPREHENSION SKILLS.

Bye!