Shmuff Wars!!!

uyyyyyyyyyyyy. Sorry, I just fell asleep on my keyboard. I just got up at 9:15 to do this blog, so I'm hoping it'll be worth it.

The only reason I got up so early on a weekend was because I haven't blogged for six days straight, and I'm trying to keep a minimum of ten blogs for the month of December. Speaking of December, here's my ANNUAL CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN!!!!

First off, only FIVE SCHOOL DAYS UNTIL WINTER BREAK! HOLY SHANOOBA!!!! This is, of course, excluding today and tomorrow, which I classify as being 'weekend'.

Then, my Christmas shopping starts tomorrow. How horrid. I love Christmas, but there's something I don't like about the whole 'giving' part. Last year I had to spend $80 on Christmas presents, and it ended up robbing me blind. This year, I'm thinking I'll just get some gift certificates with no money on them. When relatives ask me why I gave them useless pieces of cardboard and plastic, I'll just blame 'that stupid cashier'. Okay, I won't REALLY. I'd only do something like that if I was living out of a cardboard box.

Then, 12 days until Christmas Eve, when I get to open my first present. Our family has a tradition of letting everyone open one present on Christmas Eve, as long as it's from someone who isn't.... present.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for------- ONLY 13 SHMUFFING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!! WOOO-HOOOOO!!!! Now, If you're wondering what 'shmuff' means, then your guess is as good as mine. My friend ______ made it up, and according to him, it can mean anything you want it to. I usually use it in place of a cuss word, like I did just now, or I use it to mean 'stuff', i.e., 'I hope I will get a lot of shmuff for Christmas'. Other uses for shmuff include:

'I want to go over to your shmuffer'. In this case, shmuff replaces the word 'house'.

'Don't eat that shmuff'. Normally a parent, referring to the amount of chips you eat.

'But I really want this shmuffing thing!!!' A phrase I have a tendency to say a lot. If I really want something, I refer to it as 'shmuffing'. Here, shmuff takes the place of the word 'stupid'.

And now, here's a Christmas fun fact.

In Austria, people celebrate Christmas in a VERY different way. Besides dressing up as a mall Santa, people go in parades... dressed as a demon. Known as Christmas Krampus, this demon flies with Santa and flogs bad kids using rusty chains. But, of course, the weirdness of Austrian tradition won't affect me here in California, right?

We're shmuffed.

Bye!!!