The Washington Tea Party

HIBACHI SHMUFF!!!! Hello, people who are wasting their time reading someone else's blog!!! Well, it must be Christmastime, because the presents are just pilin' up under the tree. I mean, the house plant. Okay, the greenish couch. FINE! The greenish footstool.

My ANNUAL CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN indicates that we have only four days until I open my first present on CHRISTMAS EVE, and only five days until CHRISTMAS!!!!! You have no idea what a pain it is to color all those letters.

Today's pearl of anti-wisdom is: What you see is what you get---- so why is it that when I went to the store, the guy stopped me from taking all the Star Wars figures?

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is GLOBAL WARMING! Cue ominous music. Everyone, I know I've used this before as a TOPIC OF INTEREST. But so much was left unsaid! Which is why I'm introducing the IT'S THAT TOPIC OF INTEREST AGAIN feature. Any time that I feel more needs to be said, I'll just add it on in this. Unless, of course, I need to say even MORE, in which case I'll use a I'M USING THAT TOPIC OF INTEREST AGAIN AND YOU CAN'T DO A THING ABOUT IT, SUCKER!

Anyway, my point is that: I am only 12 years old, and I've already listened to both sides of the opinion and divined that one is wrong. Hint: It's the one Glenn Beck likes. Anyway, I don't see how long it takes for a couple world leader shmuffs to sign a piece of paper that says 'I'll help save the planet no matter what that idiot Sarah Palin says'. But it seems that I'm a genius, because not only do other kids not voice their political opinions (they just say, 'Uhhh.... doy. That can't affect me. Huh huh huh.'), but not a single climate change meeting seems to be doing anything to help the environment! Which is why I think we need to make GLOBAL WARMING BOOKS FOR KIDS.... and it's the subject of today's MASTER PLAN.

Just pretend I have a cool graphic of me in a detective outfit for that one, okay? Anyway, first off, we make global warming something little kids will care about, such as 'An Inconvenient Truffula', the sequel to 'The Lorax'. In this, Al Gore pops out of the stump that the Lorax once lived in, and whacks the Once-ler (played by George Bush) over the head. Anyway; then we will have a massive amount of kids who understand what global warming is, how it was caused, and how we can stop it. That's my MASTER PLAN.

And yet, we have not done this, even though everything is going the liberal way. We have another congressional majority (that we never use), the conservative 'future' is a whackjob with an insatiable thirst for slaughtering moose, we have a massive amount of support, seeing as our predecessor was a moron who screwed up the environment beyond belief. And we have

the first black president who has major international support. So why, why, why, why, WHY have we not done something? Why?

Aaaaaaaahhhh, yes, the tea party protesters. It's amazing how much of an impact a bunch of... rabidly conservative mentally unstable idiots can have.

I'll blog you soon.