But before I get so mad that I'm using the F-Bomb on this blog, I think I'll change the subject. I recently noticed that I begin a massive amount of my sentences with the phrase 'You know what I hate?' and then I end with a long tirade about what I hate and why I hate it so much. So, for your viewing pleasure, here are all things that I hate:
Republicans, cold and/or damp towels, uppity yuppies, George Bush, idiot world leaders, raisins, global warming, Hummers, boring walks, stepping in horse poop, overpriced video rentals, Mississippi, Alaska, warm cheese, math textbooks, quicksand, spam, moldy and bruised bananas, dorks, self-help books, when people say money isn't everything, poodles in purses, the 'fact' that we're supposed to drink eight bottles of water a day, orange juice, minty gum, soap operas, bad plays, Borders Books & More, The Home Depot, Toys R Us, dipwads, lead paint, communism, Siberia, nazis, terrorism, one-ply toilet paper, having to change clothes for P.E., cats on leashes, dogs, cold showers, stupid iPod apps, dehumidifiers, dumb sayings like 'jonesing', raisin bran, lumpy cheerios, magazines devoted to mindless drivel, telemarketers, Dick Cheney, Idaho, Texas, Colombian Drug Runners, celebrities, the smell of stables, tea, jammed staplers, my cat's habit of chewing on tape, salmon colored shirts, cliffs, that stupid mounted fish that sings, Sarah Palin, magazine drop-out cards, stucco, bees, my cat's former vet, our idiot neighbor with the car alarm, that weird glow that 'energy safe' lightbulbs give off, our idiot neighbor with the porch light, Keith Olbermann, our idiot neighbor with the dog who constantly bangs his water bowl against the ground, nattily trimmed lawns, fat hamsters, sandals, visors, latex, stucco, crass consumerism, lights without dimmer switches, dictionaries, taxes, typewriters, drool on little kids, people who hate drawing, watermelons, grapefruit, eggplant, sour apples, people who use hearts to dot their 'i's, using your hands to make quotation marks, acid rain, people who misspellerate their words, smily emoticons, people who point to things with their pinkie finger, landfills, wasteful products like paper plates or plastic forks, pompous blowhards, concrete, sporks, persian rugs, pencil lead with cracks in it, wall-to-wall carpeting, sharpie ink, Mongolia, berets, crumpets, doilies, twee-ness, the color pink, wicker baskets, people who don't realize the nutritional value of ballpark nachos, crayons, curling, people who obsess about their hair, Rod Blagojevich, The Wizard of Oz, 'The Nutcracker', family time, Christmas specials, sappy movies, Lassie, the movie 'G-force', self-righteous religious people, e-cards, Bolivia, legal voting/driving age laws, tough erasers, thin mints, people who substitute real four letter words for idiotic sayings such as 'Oh, snickers', people who pretend that frisbee golf takes as much skill and concentration as operating the mechanical arm on a shuttle flight, the Amish, insanely high voting ages, insanely high driving ages, Frank Burns from M*A*S*H, monkeys who throw their s*** at you, fur coats, the smell of cows, jell-o, dry apples, Almond Joys, people who think nerdiness is an insult, stupid questions, people who say there's no such thing as stupid questions, clowns, and excessively negative people.
They're the worst. I'll blog you soon.
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