Herman Cain the Hurricane!

Hey, Algeria! As of today, my blog has been read twice in the largest country in Africa! Remember how I said I would try to get my blog read in Mauritania, then forgot about it? This is just as good! THE WALRUS FLIES AT MIDNIGHT.

However, I've started this blog at 8:53 PM for a much more sensitive reason: Herman Cain has suspended his campaign amidst allegations of almost Schwarzneggerian groping escapades. Now, the funniest thing about this isn't how he arrived late to his own speech. It's not that the last time a Republican 'suspended' their campaign, they lost in a landslide.

VOTE MCCAIN because the rich white guy is never in charge.

No. The funniest thing is the inspirational quote he used to finish off the speech. Let's all sit for a moment of silence while we read it.

"Life can be a challenge. Life can be impossible. But it's never easy when there's so much on the line".

Wow. I thought Herman Cain was a complete idiot. But that was actually very inspirational, very intelligent, and somewhat whimsical. Now... let me think... where is that quote from?

Oh, right. THE GODDAMN POKEMON MOVIE!!! HOLY LIVING F***IN' HELL! And it's even worse when you think about all the other, more inspirational, even MORE meaningful quotes he could have used.

"Pika! Pika! Pi-KA-chu!"

That's what I'm talking about. Wait... woah... what if...

Did Herman Cain have an affair with Squirtle?

I'd better stop this line of questioning before Cain's lawyers shut me up. So I'll end this blog on a high note: