Slip-Slidin' Away

Well, it's been an action-packed week, full of math tests, bad movie watching, and school projects that require gospel music singing (no joke). I haven't had much of a chance to blog thus far, seeing as my schedule has been packed and my brain was fried from watching Divergent, the worst movie of the year so far (click HERE to read my review of it), so let's look at a few updates from the news stories I've been covering recently:

• THE PLANE IS GONE! THE PLANE IS GONE! THE PLANE IS GONE! THE PLANE IS GONE! And coming up on a very special CNN report: THE PLANE IS GONE!!! Tune in soon!
• Russia's seizure of Ukrainian military bases and equipment has now apparently expanded to tactical dolphins.
• Sadly, Fred Phelps did not come back to life as a zombie so we could kill him again for good measure.

Huh. Sounds like my week was far more interesting than the week in news. Unfortunately, not everyone has had a boring week, because in Oso, Washington, an entire hillside came away and completely crushed the small town. Mudslides are common in Washington state, but it's not every day that you see an entire square mile of land just sink down and bury a town Pompeii-style. At least we know that the disaster will probably be memorialized in a shitty Paul W.S. Anderson movie. Here's a pic:

Weird stuff has been going on recently, and I'm pretty sure that the Illuminati is to blame. There must have been one guy in Oso who was a threat to their plans, so they tried to eliminate him. Same with the Malaysian plane... good lord, it all fits together! There must be some massive conspiracy! Think about it: The numerology numbers for "Oso" is 15/19/15! Add the pairs of numbers together, and you get 6/10/6! Add those three numbers together, and you get 22! The number 15 appeared in the original numbers TWICE! 15 - 6 = 9! 9 + 2 = 11! 9/11!!! OH MY GOD!!! And that's not all-- 11 TIMES 2 is 22: THE NUMBER OF DAYS THAT THE MALAYSIAN FLIGHT HAS BEEN MISSING!!! IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!!! AAAAAAGH!!!

Ah, well. Whenever I don't know what to say on a subject, I go all conspiracy theory. So, let's have the first moment of honesty and seriousness here at G-Force: To the families of the victims, my heart goes out to you. This terrible disaster is something nobody could have seen coming. And hopefully, the bastards in the Illuminati will pay for it. Phew. That was intense. No wonder I don't go all heartfelt more often. I nearly had a brain aneurysm.

Bye!