Marin Hills Cop

I am SO pissed off. There's a bank near us called Tamalpias Bank, which recently got eaten by Union Bank. They had a program called Tambucks, in which you could get a buck every time you made a deposit of over $20. Well, I've had this stupid account there for nearly five years, and I just got enough Tambucks to redeem them for a pair of binoculars.

But guess what? Union Bank has ended the program. Which means my Tambucks are useless. All they gave me were some crappy pens and a bendable pencil. Here's the dialogue from that transaction.

Me: What's this?

Teller: Oh, we ended that policy, so I had to give you what was left.

Me: You're serious. I've saved up for five years to get those stupid binoculars. Yes, they're plastic. Yes, they'll probably break in their first five seconds of use. But I want to be able to say that I got the frikkin' binocular prize at Tamalpias Bank!!!

Teller: Sir, there's a line behind you.

Me: I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

Teller: Security!

Me: Uh-oh (security guards grab me, drag me towards door)

Me: Hey, listen guys. I'm just a small-time reporter for the blog G-Force. I was gonna write an article called 'I'm sitting on top of the world because I got my binoculars', but now I can just title it 'I can sit on top of the world as long as it isn't in Union Bank, 'cause they don't allow Tambuck redeemers in here!

So, needless to say, they threw me out. And if you didn't get that movie reference, get on Netflix and order 'Beverly Hills Cop', the best movie ever. If you don't have a Netflix account, make one now. And if you don't know what Netflix is, go back to your home planet. We don't want you here.

Bye!