The 2012 G-force Coverage of the Republican Presidential Race: Part Eight: It's Not the Heat, it's the Stupidity

The results for six territories/states have come in, and here's the basic results: If it's hot, humid, and filled to the brim with shotguns and cheesy grits, it went to Santorum. Everything else went to Mitt Romney. Now, I find it somewhat frustrating that people keep mocking Romney for his origins. Yes, he is the product of a mixed marriage. His mother was white and his father was a mannequin. So STOP PICKING ON MITT! His heritage has caused him enough problems already. For instance, you know how your parents used to tell you that when you made a funny face, it would stick that way? That actually WORKS for mannequin-americans. Take a look.

EW, SICK! GROSS! Imagine having to live life like that, folks! Hideously deformed, with no hope of a cure! So think twice before you insult mannequin-americans next time. It's a sad, sad state of affairs.

As I'm sure you know, I have been following the KONY 2012 movement diligently. Diligently, in the sense that I blogged about it once and forgot all about it. And I was shocked the other day when I went on Memebase (where I get all my news), and heard a report that the movement's founder, Jason Russell, stripped naked in San Diego and began yelling and making... shall we say... 'jerking' hand movements. By the way: Strip Naked in San Diego? Great title for a sequel to 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'.

Anyway, this new form of activism (which I call Faptivism) has gotten Russell jailed and suspected of psychosis. Which must make all those people who sent him money wonder where that went. My guess is it went to the Psychotic Naked Foundation Founders for Public Masturbation Fund.
How nice.
Bye!