The Buckeye State

Unlike the rest of the state... make that country... no, make that world... there aren't many fights here in San Anselmo, California. So when something DOES happen, everybody pays the utmost attention to it, just to have something to do. I left the school during lunch yesterday to go with some of the Peeps down to the strip mall, but on our way, we found out that two of the biggest morons in the school were going to fight something out over on the baseball field down at the park. Naturally, there were well over 40 people there watching, and now the two guys have gotten suspended (even though all they did was slap each other a little). It's a sad, sad state of affairs.

The stupidest part of this is how the administration found out-- some idiot was texting in class and the teacher took their phone away-- and proceeded to find out about it through the texts sent via the phone. So, the take-away from this? Apparently, the people in my school lack any form of self-control whatsoever. 

I could go on and on about stupid people at my high school (because God knows we have a lot of them), but there's been some pretty unbelievable s**t going on in the news this week. In Cleveland, a man has been arrested and held for eight million dollar bail after three captive women were found in his basement. And you thought your week was going bad.

This guy (who is a self-declared 'sexual predator', just thought I'd say that) has been keeping the women in the basement for a decade. I won't get into the specifics of what happened over those ten years, seeing as some of my readers are of a more delicate constitution, but it was some messed-up f**kin' s**t. If you want the details, just highlight the following blank space with your cursor:

HOLY CRAP. YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR THIS. Okay, fine. He raped all of the women repeatedly over the ten-year period, and whenever he got one pregnant, he would beat and starve her until she miscarried. He also got one of the other women pregnant, but for some reason didn't do it to her-- so she had to give birth in this little shop of horrors. You did ask. Don't put this on me if you can't sleep at night now. It's your own God damn fault for looking.

By the way, you may recall back when Ohio went for Obama in the 2012 election, and I bumped it 10 slots down on my Official List of S**ttiest States. But now I'm thinking... not so much. It's back to square one. And this was really a long time coming, seeing as Ohio is also the home of the Craigslist Killer, systematic removal of the Native Americans, and Ted f**king Mosby.

JUST MEET THE FRIGGIN' MOTHER ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLE! I HAVE PUT WAAAY TOO MUCH TIME INTO THIS BULLS**T!!!

However, Ohio also is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and The Black Keys... so I could really go either way. Wow... I really got off-track here a little. Anyway, the good news is that the women are back with their families, and can now go on to live an even worse fate: Living in Kentucky. And the guy who imprisoned them in the first place is being held on counts of unlawful confinement, rape, battery, assault, false imprisonment... you name it. Also, when he left the house that day, he left behind a suicide note detailing his prisoners and how sorry he was... so I'd love to see the lawyer he gets.

But in a situation like this, you don't need a criminal lawyer. You need a CRIMINAL lawyer. So, if you want to make more money... and keep the money that you make... 

Wow, that's two TV show jokes that nobody will get. Ah, well.

Bye!