Not Another Hurricane

My blogging routine has been somewhat sparse as of late, but I have a valid excuse-- my school is absolutely hectic. There's a new project every week, and I can barely begin to keep up. And it doesn't help that my group members, although funny, are often absolutely incapable of buckling down and working. In my new group, one guy spent a whole 90-minute period drawing penises on Microsoft Paint while I built our whole website. And in the last project we did (a report on a country that was chosen for us at random), it was no better. We had to keep a journal that was written from first-person, and described what daily life would be like in our country (Afghanistan), written from the point of view of a Kabul native. Here's a few choice selections from my group member's journal entries. Now, bear in mind: These were written very crudely, so any translation errors are not my fault. But I think I've pretty much conveyed the message (if any) behind them. Take a look:

• "There is to many suicide bomers in afghanistan we need to cleanse the entire country of these horrid taliban theyh ave to stop attakking us and let us build a better country for the people so we can finally have peace in tuis country and stop being the playground of war"
• "This is very good in my eyes the more womans rights the better and more womens rights expand the closer we are coming to becoming a country of peace"
• "this is ecxiting to me we are going to get the things we need for football i feel this is empowering as to say there football leader was proud to be in afghanistan in my country im going to go play right now"

Great stuff. Powerful and emotional. And before you say "Hey, this is mean, he may have a mental disability," three things: Firstly, although he is absolutely insane, he is no vegetable. Secondly, I didn't mention his name. And thirdly, he told me to put these on my blog (which he reads). So I'd like to take this chance to give a big shout-out to my former group member, just in case he reads this! Sir! You are the philosopher king! So many questions remain unanswered, o wise one! Such as... why did you not capitalize Afghanistan? What is the meaning of the word "ecxiting?" Why is there no punctuation at the end of your sentences to signify the conclusion of a phrase? Oh, I'm sure that scholars will debate this for ages!

Wow, this went on way too long. But I really needed to vent about this... and it's also pretty hilarious. Seriously, I could eat a bucket of Scrabble tiles and crap out a sentence more coherent than these. 

But in other news, there's a hurricane that just hit the Philippines (it took me way too long to figure out how to spell that correctly), and here's a big news flash for everyone: THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES ARE REALLY, REALLY SHITTY! So my class is having a drive to raise $2,000 to help the people there, and unlike most things my school sponsors, I actually think I might contribute to this. So I'm going to pitch in fifty bucks, partly because I'd feel guilty not doing it when I just got approximately one buttload of money for my birthday, and also because... y'know... it might save someone's f**king life.

   << Also, this.

Interestingly enough, the only country in the world that isn't represented at least occasionally in Miss World pageants is Vatican City (which, thinking back, I should have guessed). But amazingly, there's been Miss Iran, Miss Uzbekistan, and even Miss North Korea. Anyway, now that I've guaranteed a lot of traffic for my blog, I'll leave this story behind. But people-- send some money to The Philippines (this time it only took me three tries to spell correctly!). And don't send it through some anonymous, faceless donor that will probably pocket a lot of that cash for personal gain... like Vertco. 

Oh, and as a follow-up to last post's story-- Toronto mayor Rob Ford has been declared "Mayor in Name Only" by the council of The Illuminati Toronto. So no, crime doesn't even pay in Canada, proving once again that moving to Canada is a bad idea. But before this blog post turns into the 1,001 reasons why I will never move to Canada (I don't know if I could fit them all into that few), I shall sign off. 

Bye!