It's an Evil World After All

No special anything or pearl of anti-wisdom today, everyone; I am officially TICKED OFF, for Disney Inc. just bought Marvel Comic Books Inc. Now, being the diehard Spider-Man lover I am, this just furthers my detestment (is that a word? No? No one?) of the Disney Corporation. Now, in most blogs, people talk about easy-to-hate detestees (are you %^&$ kidding me? That's not a word either?), but in this blog, I'm raising the bar. While in pop culture, people make suuuuuch easy villains, such as Nazis, Communists, Alien Invaders, Terrorists, Barbie, that sort of thing, In THIS blog, we will talk about... MICKEY MOUSE (cue ominous music).

Disney is evil. I mean the compony, not the guy. I went to DisneyLand once (I can NOT believe that this computer's spellcheck recognizes that and not Dumbledore), and it was the most miserable experience, excepting Walker Creek. (I need to tell you about that sometime). :(

In my time at DisneyHell, I waited in line for the Matterhorn (what in the (^&(%* *^&*(&^!!!! It recognizes 'Matterhorn', too!) for 45 minutes, got stuck on the jammed 'Pirates of the Caribbean' ride, and 'It's a small world' drove me homicidally insane. In fact, let's talk about that a moment...

IT'S AN EVIL WORLD

It's a world of drugs and a world of thugs

It's a world of fear and a world of beer

There's so much that we hate

It is time to berate

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of cigs and a world of MIGs

It's a world of dorks and a world of sporks

There's so much that we hate

It is time to inflate

It's an evil world after all

snerkasnaka

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of death and a world of Macbeth

It's a world of people with lousy breath

There's so much that we hate

It is time to deflate

It's an evil world after all

death to turnips!!!

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of nerds :) and a world of turds :(

It's a world of people who mispronounciate their words

There's so much that we hate

It is time we're irate

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of of scares and a world of bears

It's a world of people with much nose hair

There's so much that we hate

It is time to elate

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of drunks and a world of skunks

It's a world people who lose their lunch

There's so much that we hate

It is time to conflate

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil world.

It's a world of bees and a world of fees

It's a world of people who don't know me (:0 wow)

There's so much that we hate

It's time to irritate

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil world after all

It's an evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil, evil world.

That was 'It's an evil world'. I'll blog ya soon.

Bushie

Okay, cartoon lovers! I believe there was some confusion as to how to access my cartoons on the Funny Times website. So click the following link (the one that says Bushie) to see my latest cartoon.

Bushie

To see all of my cartoons, click this link and then, once you get there, click 'all by this author' underneath the first panel.

Today's Pearl of anti-wisdom: The sky's the limit--- unless you're Neil Armstrong.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST : The Funny Times website people. A week ago, I put my cartoon creating on strike until they created a Sarah Palin character. A week later, I discovered, much to my elation, that they had done so.

I think I love that website.

Bye!

The Gforcesphere...

Second day of school--- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU... DGE. I am in deep *^(^ now. I really hate school. Someday, I might tell you about all the horrors that have made up my six and 2/180 years of school. Only 178 days left until SCHOOL'S OUT!!!!!!

Today's pearl of anti-wisdom is my personal motto, things could really be worse. It would have been fitting to do that as the first pearl of anti-wisdom, but I can't do much about that.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is the many 'spheres surrounding the Earth. I have comprised a list of these:

The Atmosphere, giving us vital gasses, such as farts. Without these, we would explode from the compressed air within us.

The Mesezoicsphere, shielding us from Dinosaurs.

The Ionosphere, shielding us from iron.

The Bozosphere, shielding the rest of the galaxy from the harmful rays emitted by numerous clowns across the Earth.

The Blogosphere, shielding us from blogs much like this one.

The Dumbosphere, protecting us from loud, obnoxious morons (like Rush Limbaugh)

The Methanesphere, protecting planets with little or no Atmosphere from the methane gas emitted by Earth.

The Bushosphere, doing a very poor job of protecting America's values.

Fortunately, we've gotten rid of that last one. See ya!

The Feature Creature...

First day of school--- Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!! Today lived up to its expectations---it was school. But WEIRD!!!!! I have this schedule thingy, six different classes, pre-period band, and to cap it all, third period divides all the classes into fourths, merges half from every class, and sends them off to classes (which change throughout the year).

I have a new feature to introduce: Pearls of anti-wisdom. This is where I shall type a simple anecdote every day I blog. On days I don't have time to blog, I may simply type a Pearl of anti-wisdom. Today's is: The world always looks better when you stand on your head.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is.... my features! I've decided all of them need cool logos, so I shall present them in the proper manner---

- TOPIC OF INTEREST

- Brain Tickler

- ERTERTERT BIG SPOILER ALERT!!!!

- MASTER PLAN

- What the heck is wrong with you?!?!?

- Dude, where's my dignity?

- Pearls of anti-wisdom

(This list is subject to change, specifically What the heck is wrong with you?!?!? I probably won't use that anymore).

The Brain Tickler also comes with an optional pic of a brain (see my previous blog, Kit Fisto Rules!).

Also, now that TOPIC OF INTEREST has been changed to TOPIC OF INTEREST, I'll need a feature with a red logo. Which is why I'm introducing PLUGS! In any random blog, I'll insert an ad break for a fictitious (or real) product. You can guess whether or not it's real, and I'll tell you the next day. Bye!

Funny Times

LAST DAY OF SUMMER VACATION-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally living it up today, seeing as it is the last loafing day. I watched a thousand Robot Chicken episodes (If you don't know what that is, here's a pic).

I am in a %&$^%# mood nonetheless, seeing as school starts tomorrow and there is a grand total of nothing I'm looking forward to. Worse yet, Mom insists I go on a bike ride.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is Funny Times. I used their website to create a TON of (if I do say so myself) hysterical cartoons. Click the link in my previous blog, then hit 'all by this author' on one of the Elephant Man cartoons. My personal favorite is when George Bush blows up Mt Dignity in his quest for oil.

I have a new feature to introduce: Dude, where's my dignity? I got the Idea from seeing Rod Blagojavich sing Elvis songs at a Chicago office party for money before introducing a Fabio impersonator. I could just cry. The Brain Tickler is: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hint: nuns.

By the way, I figured out who was doing the hacking- Roland, the fat kid down the block. Apparently the Republicans put him up to it. He's inserting Republican Propaganda subliminally into blogs. Fortunately, I rigged his hacking system so that if he hacks, his computer automatically emails insults to Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and Dick Cheney.

Keep in touch with the Funny Times website to see more of my cartoons. Bye!

How to stay Conservative in a Liberal US

How to stay Conservative in a Liberal US

Shared via AddThis

I MADE THIS CARTOON---- WOOHOO!!!!!

Kit Fisto RULES!!!

Kantakoonga. Hi, people! I'm still trying to start all my blogs a different way, (although I may have already screwed up on that) so this was today's. The survey winner is... KIT FISTO!!!! Second place is Oppo Rancisis, and Ki-Adi Mundi and Plo Koon are tied for third. Here is a picture of the great winner:

Kit Fisto whupps butt!!!

I now must obey my most evil demons and give GI Joe spoilers. Time for my favorite feature, ERTERTERT BIG SPOILER ALERT!!!! Highlight the following blank space to see the selected spoiler, as well as today's TOPIC OF INTEREST. Here you go: DUDE! GI Joe was pathetically cool! It had no plot line, no story, and no character development, but it had the COOLEST FREAKING GADGETS!!!! Jets, Nanomites, missiles, The Eiffel Tower collapsing---- SWEET!!! Of course, that's all there really is to it. SPOILERS END HERE.

Here's a picture of the GI Joe movie:

Also, even though I forgot to blog about it, we went to see the Harry Potter movie. ERTERTERT BIG SPOILER ALERT!!! It was undoubtedly the worst of the series. When Fawkes (Dumbledore's Phoenix) left Hogwarts, I wished that he had stayed with Harry. Oh, well. Also, I can't believe that this computer doesn't recognize the word 'Dumbledore'. I must have a word with Steve Jobs. SPOILERS END HERE. Of course, there really isn't much to spoil, seeing as we've all read the books. Oh, well.

Join me tomorrow when I unveil the newest brand of car and the Brain Tickler. (By the way, I'm giving the Brain Tickler a logo--- it is now the Brain Tickler!!!!

Bye!!!! Raspberry Plastic Funny Furry Jelly Tickle Bear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hackers...

Zqfmgb. Hi! And, by the way, if you want to know what a zqfmgb is, look no further. In the words of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, 'It's a worm found in New Guinea. Everyone knows that!' Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is hacking. I have a feeling that hackers the world over are trying to hack into randomly selected blogs and choose random words to insert into them---

Banana dog fig face, banana dog fig face, banana dog

fig face, HOSANNA!!!!

Uh, sorry. That was a hacker, and I can't delete it because it has some firewall thingy that keeps me from doing so. Also, the hackers may insert pictures---

Okay, hackers, that's it! They just inserted four randomly selected pictures. I've written a code so that if they try to hack this blog site again, they will be spammed for twenty years about the Shark Steam Mop. Anyway, since I can't delete the pictures, I'll simply post this blog the way it is. Bye!

Stupid. The worst disease ever.

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, people! I have discovered the cause of all the world's problems. It is one disease. It is evil. It is....... STUPIDITY!!!

Yes, stupidity is the one evil disease that is killing us all... except, somehow, the people who have it. George Bush. Rush Limbaugh. Dick Cheney. Rod Blagojevich. Mark Sanford. Glenn Beck. All carriers of this horrid disease, yet unaffected by it themselves (Okay, Blagojevich and Sanford were affected, but not from the disease DIRECTLY).

Forget that. The POINT is that this disease is ravaging us in worse ways than the Bubonic Egg, an evil egg that marched rats through Europe in----

Oh. That's PLAGUE. What- EVERRRR! Still, here's a pic of the Bubonic Egg.

OOOOH, shiny. DEATH. DEATH. DEATH!!!!!

ANYway, the point is that stupidity is a disease that CANNOT BE STOPPED! In the words of Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist, 'THEY WILL KILL US!!!!!' It is the cause of---

*Global Warming. If we had not had stupid back when we invented cars, we would have enacted some strict emissions ban thingy.

*The Wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Paupa New Guinea. (We're not fighting one there? No? No one? Oh, well).

*Kim Jong Il. Hmmmmmmmm... Stupid? Yes.

*FOX News. Yep. Aaaaaaaall stupid.

Unless you count death as one of our problems (which, by the way, can't be avoided. Believe me, I've tried), then you have every problem in the world caused by one disease--- Stupid. That's TOPIC OF INTEREST. I'll see ya soon.

The Demmies!!!

Hi, everyone! I got pretty worked up over Republicans the other day, so today will be kinda mellow. Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is.... THE DEMMIES!!!!!!!!!

I am announcing the awards for the Demmies (short for Democrat Emmies) today; meaning we will soon find out whether Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh wins the Obnoxious Blowhard of the Year award. If Limbaugh wins, it'll be his sixth straight year of winning this particular award. He is also eligible for the Annoying in-your-face Conservative Talk Show Host of the Year award, the Cranky Old Republican Geezer of the Year award (you can see why they're called the Demmies), and the Outspoken Crabby Wrinkled Right-Wing Old Fart of the Year award. The last two, however, will doubtless be won by John McCain.

Meanwhile, Stephan Colbert is eligible for the Best Double-Agent Republican-Democrat TV Show Host of the Year award and the Most Hair Shaved off on Live TV award (don't get this? Watch Colbert's Iraqi Operation on YouTube). Jon Stewart is eligible for the NEW Most Trusted Democrat Newscaster award, the Best Crack at Cracking Jim Cramer award, and the Weirdest Correspondent Jumble (thank you, Jon Oliver) award.

SO! Here it is! The moment of truth! In the political hemisphere, the Most Immediate Change Gone Through in 24 Hours award goes to President Obama!!! (Just imagine he's coming up to the podium, saying something, leaving, and giving the award to his CIA buddies to test for concealed explosives). The Happiest Goodbye Ever award goes to (former, thank God) President Bush!!! The Cranky Old Republican Geezer of the year award and the Outspoken Crabby Wrinkled Right-Wing Old Fart of the year awards go to John McCain!!! (Duh) Meanwhile, the Annoying in-your-face Conservative talk show host of the year award goes to..... Glenn Beck!!! But Rush Limbaugh once again claims the Obnoxious Blowhard of the Year award. Great. Moving on...

Stephan Colbert wins the Best Double-Agent Republican-Democrat TV Show Host of the Year award and the Most Hair Shaved off on Live TV award while Jon Stewart claims the NEW Most Trusted Democrat Newscaster award, the Best Crack at Cracking Jim Cramer award, and the Weirdest Correspondent Jumble award.

In theaters, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen wins Most Realistic Alien Robot Clash, Star Trek wins Best Re-producing of 1960's Idea, and G-Force wins Worst Blog Rip-off.

In Sports, Barry Bonds wins the Best Special Effects and Best Special DE- fects awards while AT&T park (home of the Giants) wins Best Ballpark Nachos.

And the moment you've been waiting for... THE RANDOM AWARDS!!!

In Argentina, Mark Sanford wins Longest Transcontinental Hike in one Weekend, in which he hiked from Top Rocker... to Rock Bottom. Sarah Palin wins the Stupidest Political Strategy award, Rod Blagojevich wins Best Elvis Impersonation By Deposed Governor, Dick Cheney and Joe Biden are STILL in a tie for Most Annoying VP, and China wins Biggest Feet. (What? Oh, right).

That's the Demmies!!! I'll see you soon.

Republicans-- What are they good for? (absolutely nothin'!)

Holy freakin' mother of god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got back from a horrible *^*&%^$ vacation. Lassen #2. This time, however, we went to Hell (aka Pinnacles National Monument). It's practically a desert where you have to do a 6 mile hike in 109 degree weather. A fourth of the way up, I was seeing flying purple elephants wearing top hats circling the valley. On the plus side, now I have something to brag about to people at school; we saw two California condors; and there were a lot of spiky rocks, some of which looked like hot dogs.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is... Republicans. Anyone who is the opposite of a Democrat is undoubtedly this. And you know what? I %&^%$^%& hate them. Once, they were the noble party of Lincoln. Now, they suck holy mackerel. And I mean SUCK. I'd like to think that some idiot &%&%ing Republican buttcrack like Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck is reading this, but that's too much to hope for. I mean, Republicans? READING? They don't have enough grey matter to watch Barney the Dinosaur. As some famous Liberal Hippie Democrat once said, I never met a Republican I liked. To end this special TOPIC OF INTEREST feature, I'd like to do something Republicans never do: I'd like to give my reasons.

#1- Sarah Palin. What can I say? The woman is a complete idiot. In her resignation speech, I believe she said 'Quit makin' things up'. So. I think this would be much more profound... IF YOUR TWITTER PAGE DIDN'T SAY THE EXACT OPPOSITE THING!!!!! She seems to think Obama is a socialist dictator who will send people to ask the elderly how they want to die as part of his 'evil' (not) Health Care plan, which, by the way, no Republicans seem to even be TRYING to improve on. I mean, if you want to say his Health Care policy will kill half the country, why not READ the bill, FIGURE out a way to improve it, and PITCH the new plan to Obama . Oh, wait, I forgot---- they can't read.

#2-Birthers. WHAT THE &%*&%*&^% IS WRONG WITH THEM?!?!?!?!? Can't they SEE he was born in the US? Are they lobotomized? Are they insane? Or are they--- shudder--- Republicans?!?!?! If you know a Republican, or if you are one, please tell me as soon as possible. Have you heard that 58% OF REPUBLICANS SAY THAT OBAMA WAS NOT -- OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN -- BORN IN THE FREAKIN' US!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obama was born here. End of story. But no, all you retarded, slobbering, lobotomized maniacs would like to milk it for all it's worth, which isn't much. All these Birthers want is for Obama to be kicked out of office with NO FREAKIN' PROOF!!!!! They are complete $^%$^%ing @$$holes. The Birther movement leader, in fact, is a very well-educated politician who has explored the issue from every angle--- oh, wait. I read that wrong--- SHE'S A FREAKIN' DENTIST!!!!!!!!

#3- Town Hall Meetings. Fellow Democrats, I know you've tried to be patient. I know you've tried to be calm. BUT CAN YOU LET LOOSE A FEW OF THOSE BOTTLED-UP EMOTIONS WHEN THOSE LOONY &%&%(&*^HOLE REPUBLICANS SEND OUT A ((%&%^$ FLYER TELLING FELLOW CONSERVATIVES HOW TO DISRUPT TOWN HALL MEETINGS?!?!?!?!?! I mean, JEEZ!!! We've put up with those @$$hole Republicans long enough, $^*$* it!!! The *%&^ing flyer says this, and I quote:

'Move all your compatriots to the front of the crowd to give the illusion of the majority.'

Are you &$^$ kidding me? Ahhh, yeah, who cares about the amount of people who agree? I also notice, with some dismay, that most of the people actually perpetrating this crap are geezers with oversized dentures and bad attitudes. Maybe we SHOULD do the thingamajig with the 'people over 65 will be asked how they want to die' thing..... for Republicans only.

#4- Rush Limbaugh. The man who is destroying this country. I mean I'm THIS CLOSE from declaring this idiot brainless. Here's a quote from his show about Sonya Sotomayor:

'Here you have... a racist.'

Okay. He's brainless. I hereby declare Rush Limbaugh brainless! (And an @$hole). I weep for his offspring, having to live with the fact that one of their relatives is Rush Limbaugh. Obama---the first African-American President--- nominated a racist!!!! How shrewd!!!! I do have to hand it to Limbaugh -- he may make the 'Obnoxious Blowhard of the Year' award in my special award ceremony, the Demmies!!!!

#5- Glenn Beck. The man reeks of pig swill and incomprehensible Republican crap. (Yes, I used the word 'crap'. But since it's used on the national comics page, I use it here). FOX news (archenemy of CNN, the Clinton News Network) is the most obviously Right-wing slanted

network in the history of mankind. And Glenn Beck is the epitome of stupidity. He's just encouraging this town hall *^*(, which will get him sent right to HELL!!!!! Speaking

of RELIGIOUS places/people, one person at a town hall said:

'God will look upon you, and judge you for what you have done'.

I have one thing to say to you idiots -- I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, if anyone's gonna be judged, it'll be YOU world-class nimrods who go straight to HELL!!!!! (I wish I had some cool flame graphic to go with that, but there you go.

In closing, I'd like to change my TOPIC OF INTEREST logo. From now on, it will be TOPIC OF INTEREST. Guess why.

Wikieverything

Hi! I think I have a new survey topic: Who's your favorite Jedi? To assist with this, I shall upload some pics of the Jedi in the survey. From top to bottom, Oppo Rancisis, Ki-Adi Mundi, Plo Koon, and Kit Fisto. From bottom to top, my favorite to my fourth favorite. I shall add this survey shortly (speaking of which, Oppo Rancisis arrived in the mail; he's cool).

My TOPIC OF INTEREST today is Wikipedia. Once, it was a site that seemed for all the world like the greatest encyclopedia ever. Now, there are several spin-offs. Here they are:

Wookieepedia (Star Wars)

Darthipedia (Star Wars humor)

Wikisimpsons (The Simpsons)

Futurama Wiki (Matt Groening's Futurama)

Brickipedia (legos)

Memory Alpha (Star Trek) Izzerpizzerplumberdizzer

Transformers Wiki (duh) typed and searched on

Barney Wiki (gag) Google comes up with my

Barbie Wiki (baaaaaaarfffff) blog!!!!!!

Spider Man Wiki (guess)

My response is------------------------ WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!