In a last-ditch effort to save his butt, Qadaffi dished out $400 to every Libyan citizen. This is a wonderful idea. I don't know why no one else has thought of this first--- oh, wait, they have, AND THEY WERE IN THE THIRD GRADE!!! Whenever little kids have a student council election, they ALWAYS vote for whoever handed out the most candy. This means Mummar here has the intellectual capacity of a ten-year old. Or maybe we already knew that.
Waitaminute... I see where this is going... Mummar Qaddaffi IS...
DR. EVIL!!! DUH, DUH, DUUUUUUUUUUH!!!
It all makes sense... The entire city of Tripoli is his 'Underground Lair'... I think he even sits in a mansion petting a hairless cat... he has odd little 'gadgets of mass destruction', such as his Laser Cannon that can vaporize anything on Earth within ten yards of it... IT'S ALL FALLING INTO PLACE! The guy even runs an alliance called the Federation of Eastern Arab Republics. Of course, he didn't notice the acronym for it until he ordered the letterhead, so he just decided to make it into a coalition of evil geniuses.
But here's an interesting twist on things. Libya's neighbor to the east is Egypt. No, I'm not talking about the widespread civil disobedience and revolution spreading across The Middle East and Northern Africa. I'm talking about something different... a news story that has somehow fallen through the cracks...
Qadaffi could only be this cocky and self-assured if he had an ace in the hole, even in the face of complete Libyan uprising. He must have commandeered the most ancient and powerful force known to mankind...
KING TUT'S PENIS!
Join me next time when I further unravel the secrets of the Pharaoh's 'Missing Nile!'
Bye!
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