The Twinkie Defense

G-Force has suffered a real hit this week. After our biggest month ever (October, with 831 hits) we now have November, which is shaping up to be our worst month ever. It's the 17th and we've only had 280 so far. So just refresh this page a few dozen times, just to help me out a little. I don't sell ad space, so I have to make money by advertising right in the posts. Remember that whole blog about Chik-fil-a? Yeah, that's right. Eighty bucks, right there. Not to mention the yearly SF Car Show, which was sponsored by Red Bull last year. This year, Eggo outbid them by 25 cents and is my official sponsor. Expect my 2013 Car Show lineup in about a week!

I can't spend all my time talking about my blog's nonexistent revenue, so here's a real news story for you: No, I'm not talking about Israel and Hamas having a good old-fashioned surface-to-air missile fight. And no, I'm not talking about General David Petraeus' affair(s). It's funny-- He's part of the secret service. So couldn't he at least be secretive about getting serviced?

But no, I'm talking about a catastrophe much larger than any of those things. Something that will rock the very foundations of America and all that it stands for. A disaster so hideous that no family in the western hemisphere will be safe. I'm talking, of course, about Twinkies.


Yes, these artificially-flavored butter-grease cream filled lumps o' goodness are officially OFF THE SHELVES, as the Hostess corporation has finally thrown in the towel amidst labor disputes. It filed Chapter 11 for bankruptcy this week, meaning that these beautifully crafted pastry cakes lovingly jammed full of Yellow Dye #5 will never be seen again. Unless, of course, someone finds one of them within the next fifty years. They'll still be fresh.

Not only will Twinkies be gone, but so will their comrades in arms: Snowballs, Ho-Hos, Hostess Cupcakes... all confined to the dustbin of American pastry history. And until someone opens a pastry museum, these poor little things will never see the light of day again.

A sad, sad day for us all. Goodbye.