Chik-fil-a sez n0 gay MArrij!!!

I haven't really been on top of blogging recently, mostly due to my new iPod, my new TV, and my new screen-induced brain aneurysm. Which means I've missed out on a lot of news stories the past few weeks. And s*** has been going DOWN!!!

About a month ago, the Oreo corporation released a photo of a rainbow-colored Oreo cookie, supposedly in support of gay marriage. The resulting uproar pissed everyone off equally in some way until everyone gave up and went home. Unfortunately, the issue wasn't laid to rest.

A week ago, the Chick-fil-a corporation's CEO stated that he was anti-gay marriage. Now, this guy's on thin ice with me as it is-- the man runs a company that makes poorly disguised grease-lard byproducts and passes them off for chicken. Even it's name caters to a lower class of human being. But this has really fried me.

Aah, the south: Where being fat is genetic but being gay is a 'lifestyle choice'. Well, I say this isn't over by a LONG SHOT!!! We need to get EVERY major corporation to pick a side!!! In fact, I believe I have a chart with me right now:

CORPORATE POSITIONS ON GAY RIGHTS:

A STUDY

Johnson & Johnson----- It depends... how long have Johnson and Johnson been living together...?

Chrysler----- Normally would be anti-gay, but was recently acquired by open-minded Italians. Bottom line: What does Silvio think?

Dairy Queen----- Not gonna touch this one.

Playboy----- Really? Did you have to ask?

Apple----- Oreo got smashed for their rainbow Oreo, but have you seen Apple's original logo? Come on.

Lego----- Hard to tell, seeing as their action figures are of indeterminate gender.

Pilsbury----- Again, unknown. But I'm thinking anti, seeing as the Doughboy is too out-of-shape to be gay.

Quaker----- WAAAY too religious. Definitely anti.

Disney----- It's Mickey and MINNIE, not Mickey and Vinnie.

Budweiser----- Their CEO's statement was too unintelligible to call either way.

Nike----- "I believe that every human being has the right to freedom, liberty, and marriage. Except for our workers. Them we could take or leave". -Michael Jordan.

GO BACK TO YOUR HOMES!!! THE JORDAN HAS SPOKEN!!!

Anyway, that's as close as I can come to figuring it out. If any other corporation has an opinion they'd like to voice, please let me know.

Bye!