Soul Man

I just performed my dance routine for PE, and it was a thousand times better than I ever expected. First off, we were doing The Blues Brothers for our dance, and I got to wear a suit all day. SUIT UP! Anyway, we also got to wear epic sunglasses, and as it turns out, our teacher is a big fan of Aykroyd and Belushi. So we're definitely getting a good grade.

Who knew dancing for PE could be this fun? All we really did was flail around and play harmonicas, but with STYLE. And that's what counts.

In real news, the president gave his state of the union speech on Tuesday, and it was just another speech. I've seriously gotten bored with talking about this kind of stuff... it's the same over and over again. Gun control, 'heroes' in the audience, 70,000 dilapidated bridges that apparently are disasters waiting to happen... you know, stuff we already knew about.

But the evening's real gem was in the Republican rebuttal, given by the one and only member of the GOP Latino Hall of Fame, Marco Rubio. Throughout the speech, he seemed distracted, and continued to wipe his mouth in the middle of his sentences. Finally, he couldn't take it any more, and ducked off-camera for a drink of water.
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To be fair to Rubio, it's hard not to get thirsty while talking. To be even MORE fair, this is ridiculous. I went through a WHOLE SCHOOL DAY wearing a boiling-hot suit and dancing like a madman, and I only had a few sips of milk to quench my thirst. Just goes to show what I've always said: I should be a f**king politician.

Of course, most people haven't been as forgiving as me. A Twitter feed called 'Rubio's Water' has already sprung up, and even FOX News is having trouble spinning this one. This is funnier than the time Bobby Jindal walked up to the camera like Mister F**king Rogers. Oh, and there was a speech, too...

This just goes to show you how badly one little mistake can twist your political career. Wether it's misspelling 'potato', talking to an invisible chair, or yelling "YOU LIE" during a presidential speech, this kind of stuff will stick with you. Which is why if I ever run for office, I'm officially blacking out parts of my history. Officially off the record: July 4, 2009, December 7-21, 2010, February 6, 2011, August 12-14, 2011, October 31-November 8, 2011, March 9, 2012, April through June of 2012, and last week.

Bye!