SEAL TEAM SIX!

Oh, hiya! The blog site's been down for a few days, so I haven't been able to blog. Also, I have basically nothing to say. So I'm going to give you an update on my stats!

My blog has officially been read in every continent on the planet (besides Antarctica)!!! I was missing Africa, but some wonderful person in South Africa read my blog (twice!). I am very, very content.

Well, there's not much going on in the news, besides the fact that we shot Osama bin Laden IN THE EYE. I hate massive stories like these that just fall apart five seconds after we hear about them because there's NOTHING ELSE TO SAY. It's so frickin' frustrating. I mean, it's all great and wonderful, but we need to get over ourselves. It's ONE GUY. Who, by the way, was sitting sunbathing right in front of us while we dicked around in the mountains of Afghanistan looking for him! EPIC FAIL.

Apparently, I was half-right: There won't be a Call of Duty: Pakistan Compound, but there WILL be a movie called 'Kill bin Laden'. Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo. We're never gonna shut up about this, are we?

What really fries me is that random reporters in Ireland and Germany are now whining about how we should have taken him alive, or shouldn't have conducted the raid in the first place. Are you s***ing me? They say that Osama is no longer a large part of al-Qaeda. First off, they have to swear allegiance to him when they sign up. Second, even if he wasn't, how can you say he didn't deserve what he got? He was the architect of 9/11! And, may I say, Public Douchebag #1!

Also, now Republicans are trying to take credit for the operation, saying it would have been impossible without Bush. Look. Many things would've been impossible without Bush. Many, many things.

God. Think of what would've happened if Bush had either not been elected or had a brain. But you cannot take credit for an operation that was ordered by Obama, carried out under the Obama administration, and was the direct result of Obama ordering the CIA to double its Osama-finding efforts as soon as he came into office! Which means it's time... for a limerick slam.

There once was a president Bush

Who we wanted to kick in the tush

He mispronounced words

He was SUCH a turd

Like a bug we all wanted to squoosh.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Bye!