The 2012 G-force Coverage of the Republican Presidential Race: Part Two: Io-Whaaa?

I am as happy as it gets. Newt Gingrich won South Carolina. Stephen Colbert is launching exploratory committees for a presidential run. And we just found out that Rick Santorum (Google his name!) actually WON Iowa. This means that no Republican candidate has yet won two states. And therefore I am in celebration.

You may remember this picture from about a year ago, when South Carolina won my 'Bulls*** of the Year' award for dumbest state in the union. Boasting a horse-lover and a governor who stretched the boundaries of the term 'Appalachian Trail', SC won by a massive margin.

This year has got to be Texas, which executed prisoners and gave us Rick Perry (who, by the way, dropped out). Huntsman quit too, which leaves only five actual contenders: Romney, Santorum, Paul, Gingrich, and Colbert (who is running under the name 'Herman Cain').

Now, normally I'd say Colbert would win this easily, but even Republicans aren't dumb enough to think he's actually one of them. Which means that there are only three possibilities: Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich, each of whom have now won one state.

This is going to be so epic.

Bye!