Liestrong

I just sat through a three-hour rendition of 'Waiting for Godot.' Why? Because MY MOM MADE ME GO. And I have to say, that play gave me CANCER. I had to drink a six-liter Pepsi and eat what I think may have been a marijuana brownie just to stay awake. So, if this blog post seeemes a litttttle unyooooshoooalllll, thenn pleasssse oob jabaffaobwv029qwf asbdcb;adf

Dude, my hands...... wow....

Anyway, the best part was when we went into the lobby and found a 'tree' made out of construction paper where you could write what YOU'RE waiting for. It doesn't make any sense, I know... but if you've seen the play, you'll get it. So of course, I wrote Die Hard 5, while my dad wrote the next Beatles album. At least mine was realistic.

But that's not why I've convened this emergency blog post tonight at... oh my God it's 11:10... but that's not why I'm doing this now. I recently have gotten word that a MAJOR celebrity has been using performance-enhancing drugs for years. Brace yourselves, people of the blogosphere--- because I am about to blow your F**KING MINDS.

Mitt Romney may have been using crazy-enhancing pills.

I know, I know... it's a sad, sad state of affairs. Of course, he probably wasn't the only one doing it, but that still means that the playing field wasn't level. Here we have people like Michelle Bachmann, who have trained at being crazy their whole lives, only to see them squandered by some DICK, who only won because he could afford better DRUGS. It SICKENS me.

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Oh, yeah... you're SO proud of yourself, aren't you?

At the end of the day, I don't know what this means for those who supported Romney, but I personally want his title as crazy person of the year revoked. And I want him out of the Nutjob Hall of Fame (Located in Kentucky). AND I want his 'couple of Cadillacs' repossessed.

But really, who were we kidding? We were IDIOTS. There's no way Romney could have come up with such gems as "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake, I can't have illegals!" without using crazy-enhancing drugs of some kind. However, that's all behind us now--- maybe with a little more regulation, we can bring the sport of crazy back from the brink and give people like Newt Gingrich (who advocated a base on the moon) and Rick Santorum (who equivocated gay marriage to paper towels) the recognition that they deserve.

Of course, we still don't know for sure until Romney goes on Oprah and admits to it... but we all know. Nobody could have won that many crazy states--- South Carolina, Alabama, Texas--- without a little extra help. So, Mitt? Come out and FESS UP! Then maybe we can get back to the stuff that really matters. Like our sports.

Bye!