This is the only unit that my friend Calvin will end up getting an A on, mainly because he suffers from a clinical addiction to Call of Duty: Zombies. My friends and I already know all this stuff anyway, because it's happening in the background of EVERY VIDEO GAME WE'VE EVER PLAYED.
But speaking of death and destruction, two bombs went off at the Boston Marathon today, killing two people. You know what that means-- TERRORISTS!!! Yep, everyone's blowing this all out of proportion (no pun intended... seriously... that's awful) and saying that some radicals from Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Idon'tgiveaf**kistan blew up the marathon. So, two things: First off, if we want to find out who did this, we just look at the marathon's records and find out who came in second last year.
At the end of the day, the silver medal is just another way of saying "Really? You wasted your childhood for this?"
And secondarily, if this actually WAS a terrorist attack, why would they blow up the marathon? Do they want to destroy America by making sure we're out of shape? If they had a bomb, why wouldn't they put it in a place like a town hall or something? So many questions that need to be answered!
Honestly, people are probably overreacting to this. But I could be wrong-- maybe a radical Shiite Muslim terrorist from Algeria somehow got it through his head that planting a bomb in the Boston Marathon would further his cause. But as I said, I doubt it.
But there's another big story today: IT'S TAAAAX DAAAAAYYYY!!! So mail your s**t, or the IRS will show up at your front door in a few days with assault rifles and that torture rack from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.
Bye!
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