Game of Drones

I went on a long-ass field trip today, and it was pretty boring... at least up until our resident bumbling idiot fell out of a tree. Somehow, that made sitting on a bus for two hours all worthwhile. Also, we got to see a bunch of pigs on a farm and yell "BAAAAACOOOOON!!!" at them.

But I could really care less about what I did today, because I just saw the MOST F**KING AWESOME THING I'VE EVER SEEN on the internet today: The government has created a prototype hummingbird drone. Yeah, that's right. A DRONE that looks like a HUMMINGBIRD. This is some next-level s**t. Now Obama can be peeking in yo' windows and snatching yo' people up.

A lot of people have been questioning the legality of drone warfare, but I'm all for it. In the future, national heroes won't have run into combat guns blazing; they'll be some asshole in his mom's basement in Pasadena who subcontracted out to the military. Of course, to take someone out via drone, they first have to be declared an enemy combatant. But you can REALLY stretch the definition of 'enemy combatant.' Graham Vert


Case in point: This week, some people tried to get the Tsarnaev brothers, the pair who bombed the Boston marathon, dubbed as ECs. Which is really dumb, seeing as we have literally no evidence that they acted on the urging of terrorists or because of their own geopolitical/religious beliefs.

But speaking of the bombers, for some reason, a few congressmen have said that the bipartisan immigration reform bill currently on the floor should be looked over again... because the bombers were Chechnyan. Seriously, that's the only reasoning they gave. You know, while we're at it, let's just not allow any Chechens into the US. Is that a good idea? Plus, let's keep out all the Japanese... they bombed us at Pearl Harbor. And we shouldn't allow British people in, because they fought us in the Revolution.

Bye!