Larry King Semi-Live

Hello, people of Iran! That's right, as of yesterday, my blog has been read in Iran!!! WHOO! Awesome! Of course, this means that they may have seen my Master Plan for Iran, which wouldn't be good. I can't remember what it was, exactly, but I'm sure things didn't end well for Ayatollah Khomenei.
I have some shocking news: The gas pipes of the Mazda 6 model have become inhabited by spiders, which spin webs and clog the tubes. There have been 20 reports of this phenomenon. No one knows why exactly the spiders prefer the Mazda 6 to other cars, though. Very odd.
Here's another news story that has gone somewhat ignored: Larry King is quitting the show 'Larry King Live'. Now, as I've always said, Larry King is actually a half human, half onion
genetic hybrid that subsists on the blood of humans. So maybe his retirement is for the best.
This guy is so old that his wrinkles have wrinkles. He really freaks me out. I suspect that
he has only extended his unnatural life this far by sacrificing a goat every day to Kattra the
Destroyer of the Seen and Unseen. Or something like that.
Bye!