Gaffe 'Till You Laff

I just got back from the most mind-bogglingly boring field trip of all time. You won't believe it, but all the Freshmen in Drake went out to West Marin to measure rocks. Yeah, that's right. ROCKS. Apparently, there's a line of rocks out in the middle of nowhere, and we had to measure them using the GODDAMN METRIC SYSTEM!!! Also, no one has any idea how they got there. Meaning that we should get the guys from the History Channel down here as soon as possible. I can see it now... ALIENS. A field trip is only going to be as fun as the teacher who dreamt it up. And this was no exception. I'll leave it at that.

Meanwhile, the Romney campaign is gearing up intensively for the Presidential Debates next week, which will be a good chance to showcase Romney's nonexistent policies. I hate to jinx this campaign, but I just can't imagine a scenario where Obama doesn't come back on top. He's leading Romney in Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, and Missouri. Overall, he's leading by about 4% of the electoral vote. That may not sound like much, but in a presidential election, it's mind-boggling. Usually, an election for the highest office in the country comes down to about 1%. But 4% is thousands upon thousands of people--- the exact number depends on voter turnout.

My favorite election visual aid by far is the ELECTION MAP BY POPULATION!!! In the usual election maps of America, it looks like the Republicans are winning by a massive margin-- until you see this. So, if all of the states vote according to plan, Romney has no chance.

It's not like this was inevitable. At some point, Romney may have had a chance to actually connect with people, but after nearly a whole month of non-stop stupid comments and gaffes, there is almost no hope. The man is pathetic. When and if he loses, I want a really good close up of his realization that he is a truly bad human being.

It's almost as if Romney's opinions exist in all possible outcomes--- it's only when he's asked a question by an inquisitive reporter do the opinions collapse into one reality. I like to call this principle 'Schrodinger's Mitt'.

Bye!