C-Maxxed Out

Is it just me, or are all car salesmen the same? We've been looking around to find something to replace our old crappy 1994 Isuzu Trooper, and the damn guys at the Ford dealership are just SO PUSHY! They seemed to have it in their heads that there was the slightest chance that we might buy a C-Max today, but we weren't going to fall for their crap. They might have experience selling cars, but the last time my dad bought a car, it took him two years, and he still isn't satisfied with what he bought.

They really have no idea what they're up against. Among me, my mom, and my dad, we have a team that can defeat any snake-oil salesman in the country. The last guy who tried to sell my dad a car got fired the next week. He can negotiate $5 if he wants to, and he has--- he ended up haggling over five bucks when he bought a bike once.

Then there's my mom. She's partly there to give the salesmen hope. She'll laugh at their jokes and stuff, but when it comes down to it, she lays down the law. She can be even colder than my dad in that sense. She will crush your hopes if you ever try to sell her something.

Then there's me-- the brains behind the outfit. I am an experienced bulls**t artist. I can come up with any crazy story to get me out of ANYthing off the top of my head. Eventually, the web of lies gets so twisted that the damn salesman just gives up. For instance, today-- we really don't have any other options but the C-Max, so the Ford guys don't have any competition. However, when they asked, I gave this whole speech about how we've been looking at Volkswagens and Chevys, which we haven't.

Just by Googling an image of this thing, I was afraid that a guy would pop out of my computer screen saying something like "I see you're interested in the fuel efficiency of our new 2013 C-Max" or "Have I told you folks about our resale value?"

Anyway... I dunno. It seems like if you want to sell someone something, you can start by not being a gigantic asshole about it. We weren't looking at any other cars, but I can sure as F**K bet you that we'll start. God damn Ford guys... I shall take my business to your competitors!

Speaking of cars, the 2013 G-Force Coverage of the San Francisco Car Show (Sponsored by Eggo) will be rolling around in a month or so, so be prepared. Also, feel free to look back on my previous post about the 2012 G-Force Coverage of the San Francisco Car Show (Sponsored by Red Bull).

Bye!