The Great Debates Part III: Hello Mitty

Before I get into my actual blog content--- HOW ABOUT DEM GIANTS??? AWWWW YEAAAAH!!! SUCK ON SUMMA DAT, SAINT LOUIS!!! The Giants are going to the World Series for the second time in three years, and it was all because of last night's epic defeat of the Cardinals. NINE TO NOTHING!!! Day-um. That's not bad. But I won't get so worked up over this yet. I won't be too disappointed if they lose the World Series this year, mainly because Detroit really needs a win. Like, REALLY.

Meanwhile, the latest and last PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE OF PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE-NESS was last night, and it looks like a win for Obama. It might have been a total draw, if it weren't for the 'bayonets' line. Romney was complaining about how the Navy doesn't have as many ships as they used to, and Obama said "Well, we don't have as many horses and bayonets as we used to, either." It was pretty badass.

Romney looked like his usual emotionless self during the debate, but Obama seems to have grown a spine in recent weeks and begun to stand up to the GOD DAMN REPUBLICANS. Or maybe he's just using the latest in Vertco® technology, the Patented Detachable Spinal Column!


The DSC simply attaches onto the user's back, allowing them to stand up straight for what they believe in! Note: This does not work on EPA workers.

So, when we get down to it, do the debates even matter? No. The only reason any of this crap should make the slightest difference is if there's either a massive gaffe or an ultimately quotable line in it, like the phrase 'Binders of Women'. Yeah, I'm still on that.

So it looks as if we have a real horse race on our hands! Neither candidate has thus far proven capable of electrifying their base the way they did back in 2008. Oh, wait... Romney didn't ever do that. Ever. He was actually the second or third choice for REPUBLICANS. But if these idiots in the GOP can forget things that happened two months ago, what's four years to them?

Bye!