Re-Taken

The infamous Summer of Duds has continued this week, and it may only get worse. 2012's movie lineup has been a big disappointment, from The Dictator to Ted. The Dark Knight Rises was less than good, and The Avengers didn't fully impress. This summer's only saving graces are Looper and Men in Black III, two movies that (although entertaining) may or may not go down in history.

And speaking of movies that won't go down in history: Taken 2. I just saw it this afternoon, but I'm already pissed off. You have to understand, I loved the original Taken. It holds the slot #25 on my personal list of BEST GOD DAMN MOVIES EVER. So, as good as the original was, this review may disappoint you. But here it goes.

The beginning of Taken 2 is, unsurprisingly, better than the first. Both movies have the same weak spot: The actual character dialogue. But this second installment has fixed that, at least a little. The father-daughter dynamic is better, which was one of my biggest problems with the first one: Neeson had just moved heaven and Earth to get back his daughter, and what do you know--- she leaves him standing in the airport.

However, it goes downhill from there. Neeson and his ex-wife are beginning to make amends, mainly because her new husband is being such a dick. They've ended up getting a divorce, and so when Neeson invites her and the daughter to take a trip with him to Istanbul, they happily go with him.

Unfortunately, all is not well in the mystical land of bad action movies: The families of the Albanian sex-slave traffickers are pissed off and seeking revenge. This is another major plot hole: The dead Albanian from the previous movie has a dad, who is trying to kill Neeson. But he can't seem to get his head around that Neeson killed his son for the same reason he's trying to kill Neeson. This is both a problem and an asset, in that you don't have the slightest sympathy for the guy. Even though Neeson's daughter was captured and sold as a black-market prostitute, the Albanians don't have any f**ks to give.

Neeson, of course, couldn't care less about the Albanians, and so he does what he does best: He kills them all.

And here we are with another major plot hole. Neeson repeatedly abandons his wife and daughter in order to go kill some Albanians. You would think that after the first movie, he would have learned to never let them out of his sight. But no.

I will say this for Taken 2, however: It did not fall victim to the Die Hard 2 approach of having the same thing happen to the same guy on the same day, blah blah blah. I mean, the same thing DID happen, but at least there was a semi-valid explanation for it. If there ever is a Taken 3, which seems almost inevitable now, Neeson may have to nuke Albania in order to end it all.

So, final score for Taken 2? 5/10 stars. Although it is truly mind-numbingly bad at some points, it has a few fantastic action sequences, in which the daughter gets to make up for her somewhat passive role in the first one. And hell-- It's Liam F***ing Neeson. He adds a good three stars to any movie he's in. Exception: Clash of the Titans.

Bye!