Firstly, nobody at my school calls Drake "The Drake." Strike one. Secondly, he brings up the 'fact' that dyslexic drivers might misread the speed limit signs as 52 instead of 25. WHAT? That doesn't even make sense! Why would they be driving if that were the case? Why is that remotely relevant to the subject at hand? Is he just TRYING to make the situation seem more dangerous than it actually is, all for the purpose of maligning teenagers? Undoubtedly. Strike two. And thirdly-- Why did he have to get the five biggest assholes from my school on video? I mean, seriously... a lot of the people in that video are dumbasses... but I don't think any of them are dumb enough to "Play chicken with 4-ton cars" as the video asserts. Not like he has any of that on tape to prove it... sure, why not just make shit up? I could do that! Hell, Kron-4, hire me to do your lame-ass segments! I could be a bitchy, whiny tattletale like this guy as well, and I could report on things that ACTUALLY HAVE SOME VALUE IN THE WORLD!
The amazing thing is, this moron and pretty much every living human on Earth has jaywalked at least once in their lives, and it's not a big thing. Nobody dashes across the street while cars are coming-- the point of jaywalking is to take the advantage of a gap in the traffic and cross when nobody's around. Except, apparently, some asshole with a video camera and a grade-school education. At least, I HOPE he only has a grade-school education... if he had gone to high school or college, he could have gotten a job that actually contributes something to humanity. Like flipping burgers at a McDonald's.
Anyway, this is just one out of many, many things that have been pissing me off to no end recently, the least of which is another in a long line of NFL incidents. So let's continue my long-running segment...
Yeah, football is being retarded again. WHAT A SHOCK! Miami Dolphins linebackquarterbacker (who gives a f**k about the terminology) was suspended recently after he incessantly led the locker room torment of a fellow player. That player complained, and all hell has broken loose now, with football junkies complaining about how the player should have manned up and dealt with it. So, my opinion on this? Well, I'm just going to assume that you all see this coming...
BAN FOOTBALL. Seriously, how is this shit still legal? I couldn't care less about the players, because it's their own God damn fault for getting involved in this moronic 'sport,' but I do have a problem with how it dumbs down all of America. I mean, sure, bash your heads in, but don't make everyone else dumber in the process. The fact that people exist who think that there was some kind of problem with what the player did, and that Incognito was fully justified, makes me sick to my stomach. This sport is a f**king cancerous tumor in America.
Phew... I really needed to vent my anger on that one. But yeah, this retarded masculinity contest pretty much serves the public in the same way the gladiators of ancient Rome did: Distracting the public from the things that ACTUALLY MATTER. I am sick to death of people shooting each other in parking lots, flinging beers at each other, and trashing entire cities over whose group of meatheaded sacks of shit is better than the other. Jesus Christ. It's fine if you watch this crap casually (or as a way to see the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders), but if you only like this as a way to live your demented fantasies about masculinity vicariously, please do us all a favor and seek professional help.
Bye!
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