Putting the "Fun" in "Funeral"

Sometimes, you come across a group of people so monumentally retarded, you wonder how the lumps of half-baked potatoes functioning as their brains are actually capable of dragging them out of bed in the morning. I hate a lot of stuff (duh, I'm a blogger), but I reserve my all-out detestation only for people and things that infuriate me right to my core.

The Westboro Baptist Buttholes are one such thing. Never in my life did I think I would come across any human being stupid enough to picket military funerals with signs that read "Thank God For Dead Soldiers," but hey, if you can imagine it, someone out there believes it. Anyway, these religious flamers have been disrupting people's funerals for several years now, much to the public's dismay and the media's glee, so that just makes the current situation all the more hilariously ironic.

Fred Phelps, the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church itself, is currently in the process of doing probably the one good deed he has ever accomplished in his miserable existence: He is dying. And for this... he will have my eternal gratitude. But the good people of the WBC are now all butthurt over people mocking this turn of events, saying that their dying leader should be treated with respect. HAHAHA! I was more sympathetic when Osama bin Laden died! You retards set up a church with a website called "GodHatesFags.com," and you expect us to have the slightest bit of respect for your bigoted, racist, and blatantly homophobic leader, who is now dying what I hope is the most painful death in the history of the world? I laugh derisively at your hypocrisy!



However, even when my spirits are at their lowest... there's always that one guy who restores my faith in humanity. Good on you, random guy holding a sign. You've made my 100 Best Internet People list.

Just to make things all the more hilarious, Phelps was excommunicated from the church that HE STARTED because he was advocating a more "gentle" approach to the church's message. Can you imagine what the hell happened there? If your organization doesn't let FRED PHELPS in because he's "not crazy enough," then you seriously need to rethink your mission statement. Also, what exactly did he say to get booted out? "Hey guys, I think we should really team up with the Muslims to eliminate the gays, because we really need to focus on the big picture here." "Teaming up with the Muslims? HERESY! Burn, heretic!"

Anyway, the point is that he's dying and I'm happy. Really, I shouldn't be happy about other people's misfortune, but at the same time, he was a cancerous detriment to America that degraded humanity's overall worth. It's messed up to say that someone deserves to die... but really, if anyone deserves to die, it's this asshole. And for those of you wondering... yes, I believe I will have a few choice words to say at his funeral.

Bye!