Trouble With Turtles

Ello, loyal-ish followers! I was going to make this blog part of my previous blog, Ironic Man 2: The Spoilers, but I REALLY wanted to use both that title and the title of this blog. So, without further ado, here's my entirely true story about a turtle!

I was walking around Lake Lagunitas, when I found some random turtle sitting in the middle of the fire road. I was about to pick him up and move him, when a group of Incredibly Stupid People®. They consisted of:

-A little girl who wanted to touch the turtle

-Some dumbbutt who thought he was in a desert

-Some guy who reminded dumbbutt guy that he was in a forest by a lake

-Some old fart and his wife, who kept talking about their turtle, Pete

-A lady who thought that the turtle was a tortoise

-And some lady who wore massive sunglasses and acted completely oblivious to the turtle's fate.

These seven idiots kept arguing and arguing over what to do with the frickin' turtle. I just wanted to take him and put him by the edge of the lake. But NOOOOO, these idiots kept arguing and making incredibly stupid points. The little girl wanted to keep him, the old fart rambled on and on and on about his turtle, while his wife repeatedly asked "How old is Pete, again?". Finally, I just grabbed the stupid turtle and put him in a little stream.

Well, dumbbutt guy and tortoise lady started saying "Hey, he needs to go back to the desert, he's a tortoise", and old fart guy kept saying "I miss Pete", and the little girl started whining that she still wanted the turtle. I wanted to just yell 'SHUT THE **** UP!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M IN CONGRESS!!!"

Well, the turtle escaped, and the idiot squad dispersed. But I will never forget the feeling of being the only person with a clue as to what was going on.

I don't know whether to feel good about myself or scream.

Here's a pic of the turtle.