B.S.A.T.

Wow, what a week. I don't even know where to start. First, I had to take four hours out of my Saturday morning to get up at 6:00, walk over to my school, and take a Pre-SAT test--- AND IT WAS VOLUNTARY. Seriously, I don't know why I said I would take this, but I did, and I paid the price for it. Fortunately, it was incredibly easy, and it doesn't matter on my grade, as it's a voluntary test. And most of that four-hour period was spent bubbling in answers for shit like "What is your home address," which apparently they couldn't have me just WRITE OUT, so they had me bubble in 17 letters for it. What really grates me is when they ask for your student ID card. What do they think is going on? Are people sneaking in off the street to take a test? OH SHIT, SON. I bet that's an epidemic. Once again, school, you have wasted my time and accomplished nothing in the process. Good job.

Then I had my yearly classic Halloween sleepover at my friend Benny's house, and (as always) there were a lot of epic moments, involving parkour tag, a gallon of milk, six bags of Doritos, a bagel, a hedgehog with a hat on it, a "Slow children playing" sign, and a game called Cards Against Humanity. It's a long, long, LOOOOOOOONG story and I don't want to get into it. All I can say is... I'm scarred for life, both mentally and physically. In other words, it was a success. 8/10, a seriously underrated party in my opinion.

But here's an interesting turn of events: Remember the couple who crashed the a party at the White House a few years ago? Well, since then, the woman has divorced her husband and gone off to marry Neal Schon, the lead guitarist for Journey. Why do I care, you ask? Well, Neal Schon lives just up the street from me on a hill-- in fact, not to sound like Sarah Palin, but I can practically see his house from my backyard. He drives around in his Lamborghini and it's awesome. I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, he's going to marry that party-crasher in December, so my mom (being the liberal she is) wants to crash the wedding in order to give her a taste of her own medicine.



Yeah, I figured you guys would like that idea. Anyway, things are heatin' up over here in Marin County. I really hope that my parents have the guts to go through with this one, because if we crash this party, it'll be awesome. Free food as far as the eye can see, plus Journey performing? Awesome! I'll get to throw food at them, just like I've always wanted to after having to listen to "Don't Stop Believing" for the 9,001st time! Seriously, WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE BASEBALL TEAM USE THAT AS THEIR ANTHEM? JESUS!

If we do this, it will live forever as an epic and unforgettable moment in my life. Because you might be able to attend parties throughout your life, but it's not every day that you attend one in which security throws your dad out for trying to touch Neal Schon's guitar. Anyway, if there's anyone else out there who is a raging Democrat and wants to make this woman butthurt, our lines are open! My mom wants as many people crashing this thing as possible, and I highly doubt that nobody else out there has come up with this idea yet. So drop in on the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco on December 15th! Eat as much food as you possibly can before getting thrown out, thus running up the bill and pissing this obnoxious rich songwriter and his dumb soon-to-be-wife off.

See you there!