News of the Weird

Hey, does it bother anyone else that 'The Los Angeles Angels' translates directly to 'The The Angels Angels'? That's gonna keep me up at night. And while we're at it, I recommend switching Iceland and Greenland. Really, someone's gotta fix that.

But this minor pet peeve of mine isn't what I'm here to tell you about today. No, I have something that is actually... pretty sad. Take a look at this painting: It's a wall mural in Spain that was in dire need of restoration. Unfortunately, the church hired... shall we say... the wrong person.

Now, I'm not a religious person, but I am an artist. And this is just f***ing pathetic. Every time I look at it, I feel sick to my stomach. If I get cancer in 20 years, it's because of this. You have to wonder about the woman who painted this. Where is she? In hiding? It's horrific. Oh, my God... I'm dying. Or maybe she's just a baboon who merely painted her own savior, Monkey-Jesus.

This is just putting salt on the wound for the Catholic Church, which has had an ongoing stream of pedophile scandals for over a year now. Again, I'm not religious, but even I wouldn't be surprised if the painter gets struck by lightning in a week or so.

Bye!

Draw Something

I have recently come across a revolutionary new app. It is called Draw Something (by the same people who brought you Words With Friends). You are assigned a random person over the internet to draw something for. You can choose from three words, an easy one, a medium one, and a hard one. The harder the word, the more coins you get. You can trade in coins for new colors to draw with.

Now, as you know, I love drawing. I have been drawing since I was eight months old (but unlike other people, I haven't stopped). So this sounded like the perfect app for me. And I don't want to sound egotistical here, so I'm not going to brag about my skills at this game. I will just show you some highlights of my best Draw Somethings.

Hopefully, you can read what the drawings are supposed to be, but if you can't, here they are from top to bottom: Cowboy, Clay, Sith, Catwoman. The first one is Clint Eastwood in THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY. The second is Colonel Clay from THE LOSERS. The third is, of course, Darth Vader. And the fourth is pretty self-explanatory. Graham Vert

And I will advise you to think before you dismiss these. Before saying "My four-year old kid could do that", let's see YOU Draw Something better. I'll admit, I am not the best Draw Something artist out there, but seeing as I did all these on a tiny iPod Touch screen with my index finger, please... a little respect.

Bye!