Draw Something

I have recently come across a revolutionary new app. It is called Draw Something (by the same people who brought you Words With Friends). You are assigned a random person over the internet to draw something for. You can choose from three words, an easy one, a medium one, and a hard one. The harder the word, the more coins you get. You can trade in coins for new colors to draw with.

Now, as you know, I love drawing. I have been drawing since I was eight months old (but unlike other people, I haven't stopped). So this sounded like the perfect app for me. And I don't want to sound egotistical here, so I'm not going to brag about my skills at this game. I will just show you some highlights of my best Draw Somethings.

Hopefully, you can read what the drawings are supposed to be, but if you can't, here they are from top to bottom: Cowboy, Clay, Sith, Catwoman. The first one is Clint Eastwood in THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY. The second is Colonel Clay from THE LOSERS. The third is, of course, Darth Vader. And the fourth is pretty self-explanatory. Graham Vert

And I will advise you to think before you dismiss these. Before saying "My four-year old kid could do that", let's see YOU Draw Something better. I'll admit, I am not the best Draw Something artist out there, but seeing as I did all these on a tiny iPod Touch screen with my index finger, please... a little respect.

Bye!

iRobot

AWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAA!!!!! I GOTS AN IPOD!!! YO TENGO UN IPOD!!! ME GUSTAAAAAAA!!!!

After months of careful deliberation, my dad, in his infinite wisdom, has bought me an iPod. And it is so beautiful. Taking an iPod out of its case for the first time is like witnessing a birth (but much less grody). It is the newest member of our household.

Unfortunately, this was marred by the sudden realization that I have to complete 35 hours of community service in order to graduate High School. Are you f***ing kidding me? I didn't do anything to deserve this. Every single person in the High School I'm about to go to is going to have to work for 35 goddamn hours in order to graduate. It sucks.

However, I have found a way around it: I'm gonna do a little phone relay thing. I'll get the form for community service, and fill it out, saying that I worked for a few hours every day at the Human Fund. I'll design a website, write a slogan (The Human Fund: Money for People), and give it a fake phone number. That number will actually direct the suspicious school officials to my old, broken phone in my living room, which I will have hooked up for a few months of service. Once they call, either I will pick up, or the answering machine will lead them through an endless amount of steps in order to 'Speak to a live Operator'.

I don't know if that qualifies as LESS work than actually DOING the community service, but I don't care. It's a point of pride. I never work within the system.

Bye!

YO! Semite

Greetings, human playthings! I am on spring break, and I just got back from my trip to Yosemite! I made a Snowball of Mass Destruction (SMD), built three snowmen on the stairs to our hotel room, and ate a garlic pepperoni pizza for lunch! As you may have guessed, it went GREAT!

I also went to Chinatown in SF the other day and bought an extendable fork, a whoopee cushion, and a stress weiner! (It's not what you think. It's a foam hot dog. What did you think it was, you sick, sick person?).

Oh, and join me soon for my very last blog.

VERY, VERY LATE APRIL FOOL'S!!! Introducing the iTurd.

Everyone, I'm a HUUUUUGE fan of iTechnology. IPods, iPads, iSporks. Which is why I, in the interest of capitalizing off of every craze that America has, I am pleased to introduce...

The iBurger.

The iBurger has the most state-of-the-art iTechnology. It has a sesame seed bun app, a mayo app, and three different cheese apps! It has some of the newest games, such as 'Lettuce Eat You', 'Mustard up Your Strength', and 'I Think I'll Ketchup to You'!

This is truly the greatest iObject ever. It's the best thing since the iBrain, which does all that pesky thinking for only $79.99 a month!!!

Bye!

EMP: Electromagnetic Pelosi

DEMOCRATS HAVE PASSED HEALTH CARE REFORM!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOO! Sorry I didn't talk about this in my previous blog, 2001: A Space Idiocy, but I only just realized that I hadn't talked about the triumph of the Democrats!!! Their first one!!!

And, as you may have guessed, the Health Care Reform Bill is the subject of today's TOPIC OF INTEREST. But first, a notice:

Yes, I did two blogs in one day. The split is for the sole reason of not making 2001: A Space Idiocy go on as long as my longest blog ever, Spider-Sham. I NEED to talk about health care.

Okay. Just last week, Obama signed the Health Care Reform Bill, using 22 pens (to give to everyone who helped make the bill possible). The bill says....

SNORE....

Anyway, it seems that I can't talk about what's actually IN the bill without causing my readership to fail dramatically. So, to win my readers back, I present the following picture:

All right! Looook! It's an iPad! I'll tell you some secrets about it

that only I know in an upcoming blog! OOOOOOH!!!

Wow, I now have 957 followers. Phew.

Bye!

The Technology Blog

Qwertyuiop. Hi! Amazingly enough, the first word I've used in this blog is today's brain tickler. Figure it out and you win 5 gallons of molten cheese.

Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is technology, or as Bush would say, 'The internets and

techno-ology'.

Some people think that our numerous technological devices are making us stupid and sucking away at our soul. Not only are those people amish whackjobs, but they are also ipod-hating fiends!

I read an article in 'The Week' that suggested that constant usage of GPS devices causes your hippocampus to shrink dramatically. GPS could, apparently, also be responsible for dementia and other mental illnesses. Of course, 'The Week' also put out an article about how lefties live longer than righties, and there was also one about cat geniuses who can flush toilets, or play Beethoven's ninth. The day we classify playing a symphony with flushing a toilet is the day I will leap off a cliff.

But, back to technology.

I just got a very awesome technological device at a garage sale for $20. I did feel a little ripped off, until I realized that the retail price was $139.99. Mwahahahahah!

It's a remote controlled tank that has a video camera on it. You look through special glasses attached to it and see whatever the tank is seeing. Plus, it can climb up people's legs and spin in a 360˚ circle.

Bye!

The Ultimate Top 20 & the First Brain Tickler!!!!

I have now decided to enlighten you with the top 20 things on the planet Earth, not necessarily in this particular order:

20. comics.

19. m&ms.

18. summer vacation.

17. cheetos.

16. Art in all its forms.

15. Apple computers.

14. Obama.

13. Wikipedia.

12. YouTube.

11. Earlspay eforebay inesway.

10. Disgust of Sarah Palin. That's putting it lightly. She's a %$^%$*%(

9. Hawaii.

8. Action figures.

7. Laptops.

6. Area 51/Roswell.

5. Cats.

4. "He's dead, Jim."

3. Star Wars.

2. Star Trek/Spock.

1. Nachos. Nachos. Nachos.

I hope you find this helpful. Also, I would like to introduce a new feature: the brain tickler!!! Every Tuesday, (or maybe not, you never know) a brain tickler will show up on a new blog. This particular one was a puzzler in my classroom. Try to find it!!! The answer will be shown next Tuesday. That should give you enough time to figure it out! HINT: INVISIBLE INK.

HELLO, PEOPLES!!!! TRY TO GET THIS TICKLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PHROMATE

Wahahahahaha!!!!

Adventures with iPods

Heeeeeeeeey, everyone!!! I'm back! I couldn't wait two days to publish another blog, but this'll do fine. Big news: I've got my first follower!!! I'm hoping they'll send off the link to their friends and family. Also, I must thank my dad's cousin for introducing me to this site.

Now, down to business. We recently got an iPod Touch, courtesy of my dad. Unfortunately, you have to go through all these REALLY TIME AND MONEY CONSUMING PAIN-IN-THE-NECK STEPS just to set the #@$^%^^*&(%*#@-ing thing up. Also, if you want to get internet access (which most people do unless they live in Pennsylvania Dutch Country), you have to buy a Wi-Fi outlet, the only thing that can make the $##$%^-ing thing work.

And now this is known to all intelligent people who decided to follow this blog. Join me next time when I reveal the coolest comic strip EVER!!!!! (and the worst). I shall finish this one off with a photo from (yes, another) one of our hikes. However, in this is an actual pic of Marin!!! Hope you enjoy.