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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

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This truly is the summer of superhero movies. Not only is The Amazing Spider-Man in theaters right now (expect a review soon), but The Avengers graced the top of the box office with over a billion dollars and The Dark Knight Rises is being released Friday. But about that...
It seems as if the anticipation for the final chapter in the Dark Knight trilogy is getting a little over-the-top. The local movie theater here is selling tickets to both The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises in a mini-movie-marathon, plus all-you-can eat popcorn. But the most disturbing thing comes from Rotten Tomatoes, the go-to movie review website, which currently ranks The Dark Knight Rises at 85%. But a warning to any critics who gave it a bad review: Look over your shoulders for a while. Things could get ugly.
RT had to shut down its comments section on The Dark Knight Rises, due to people threatening to kill the critics who didn't like the movie. One review had over 500 comments. Oops.
The most annoying thing about this is that the people haven't even seen the damn movie. They're getting all worked up over a movie that they know next to nothing about. And who knows; it could be really, really bad. It's certainly possible. And it's not like the franchise has been all that fantastic. Batman Begins was, in my opinion, terrible.
But it's not just Rotten Tomatoes. All across the internet, people are trolling for anger in the comments. Facebook, Twitter, Memebase, Myspace, Youtube and the list goes on. My personal favorite is when a woman posted "NO MORE OREOS FOR THIS FAMILY" after the now-famous image of the gay Oreo was released. People immediately began responding back "It doesn't look like you need any more, you fat bigoted f***". So sometimes it can be good. But for those of you who can't tell, look no further than my PATENTED COMMENT TRANSLATOR!!! After installing the software, simply highlight the text you want translated and voila! Here's an example of a typical Youtube comments section:

FIRST!!......................................................................... DERP!!
SECOND!!!................................................................... HERP DERP!!
Yu suck......................................................................... Arg blarg derp herp
omg justin bieber....................................................... blaaargh herp derp derp
LOL fake...................................................................... GLARB derp derp herp

Don't delay! Order the VERTCO COMMENT TRANSLATOR today!

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