Again With the Stupid Egg Hunts!

I had a great idea: What if you were to make a movie where every single movie ever made suddenly came true? Aliens would attack LA, Indiana Jones would show up, we'd have a dozen robot revolutions, etc. Wow. Someone should make a movie about that. But then, that would be a movie, so we'd have to include that in the movie, which is the movie that has the movie within it...

Oh my god... a movie within a movie...

So, I've made a big decision: Any movie worse than CLASH OF THE TITANS does not qualify as a movie. We have to draw the line somewhere. That goes for the entire Chronicles of Narnia series, Twilight, and The Wizard of Oz. And of course BAD MOVIE. Wow. It's gonna be the worst movie EVER!!! I can't wait.

Speaking of worst things ever, let's get back to the topic of Donald Trump. Apparently, the 'birth certificate' he sent out to the press wasn't even his actual birth certificate! It was the wrong document. That's kind of sad. That's like he failed at failing.

But eventually, even with so many other things to talk about, we must come back to this one topic: Today is my least favorite day of the year. Worse than Valentine's Day. Worse than Hitler's birthday (which, by the way, is also coincidentally the birthday of my friend Ben). Today is the absolute worst.

Today is Easter. And it's time for me to go around town lawn-ornament bashing! I take a plank of wood with a nail through it and smash up any rabbit hats and inflatable eggs I see. Today is, I will say again, pure evil. Fortunately, my parents somewhat agree with me, and never make me go to church, now or any other day. Phew. It's a good thing, too. I might have to bring in a copy of 'Origin of the Species' and start hitting people with it.

On that note, bye!