Leekar: America's Last Hope (we're screwed)

So, I'm writing this post from my friend Ben's house, where we're having another epic sleepover/birthday party thingamajig. And something REALLY freaky just happened, which I must tell you about.

I was playing on my friend Luis's TV (which he brought over), and we were linked to the other room playing against my friend Cody and Ben. All of a sudden, I looked up, and we were 20 kills ahead. They thought we were cheating (I suck, so it's understandable), because when we tested it on my friend Ben's flat-panel, I ended up doing my usual pathetic excuse for a COD game. As soon as I went back to Luis's TV, it was back to my weird pwning insanity.

My best guess is that because Luis's TV is crappy, it turns the screen red. Now, we think it may have either made us high, or driven us insane. Either way, it was pretty effective.

But off of that topic, and on to my EPIC RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY IN 2012!!!

So, I just polled my friends, and they all say that they would vote for me (if I was 43 and not 13 and they could vote). I promise as part of my campaign to rid the world of terrorism, violence, hate, war, death, destruction, Cody's farts (actually, if I weaponized them in a nuclear bomb, they might be the equivalent of a bioweapon), insane foreign dictators, South American drug cartels, slavery, frostbite, Hummers, the people who made 'Shrek IV', explosions, IED's, nukes, semi-deadly cutlery, handguns, natural disasters assault rifles, submachine guns, and everything toxic at Wal-Mart.

Anyway, I think I could have said that all in less than a super-paragraph. But still, vote me in 2012! I mean, who's the competition? And when I say competition, I mean competition within my party, The American Birthday Party. I created this party when I ran in 2008 and Obama beat me for the Democratic nomination. This way, I can still run for the whole way, unless a new challenger emerges...

DAMMIT, P-NUT! I swear to CHRIST! You ruin everything! Whether it be presidential runs or the upholstery on a naugahyde recliner, you always have a way of f-ing things up!

Well, you know what this means? If I don't make a huge revision to my campaign, I'll be screwed and I'll never win the nomination. So, who should I make as my VP...?

Yeah, that's right. LEEKAR. And as we all know, Leekar has a long and rich history of winning everything. His complete resume is as follows:

1) Class mascot for practically all my classes

2) Most-drawen GALAXY character

3) Co-dictator of Turdistan

4) All in all, complete ass-kicker to the stars. In conclusion, if anyone can win me this campaign, Leekar can.

Bye!