I'm So Angry, I Can't Even Come up With a Bad Pun

I have an official list of everything that's pissing me off. I would now like to vent it on the internet in reader-friendly paragraph form!

#1) There's a county in California called Orange County, which is even more conservative than Arizona. An officer of the GOP there (Marilyn Davenport) recently sent out a photoshopped picture of a family of chimps, with Obama's face on the baby. The picture had the caption 'Now we know why there's no birth certificate'. Oh, my god. This person is, by far, the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. Tea Partiers have the minds of underdeveloped six-year-olds who have been exposed to some sort of cranium-eating parasite. And I'm sorry for those of you with cranium-eating parasites attached to your heads. I was not trying to make light of your situation.

Anyhow, the most disgusting thing about this may be that this person wasn't fired immediately. Shows you the kind of thinking we're dealing with here, folks.

#2) Donald Trump has apparently dispatched some 'Private Investigators' to Hawaii to hunt down Obama's birth certificate. Trump released HIS birth certificate (for no apparent reason) to the press. Here is my belief: His hair is a cranium-eating parasite that has latched itself onto his head, and is now sucking out his grey matter.

#3) Some douchebag brought a BB gun to the gym locker room, so now we have to have the strange, gangly PE teacher watch us while we change. WONDERFUL. By the way, this guy is definitely on my list of least favorite people. He's a turd.

#4) My parents continue to ignore facts and not buy me an X-Box 360. And who agrees with them? Not anyone I know and most certainly not anyone I should trust. One of these guys is the 'Vice-Director of the Institute for Better Parenting'. WTF is that? Anything that has the words 'better parenting' in it can immediately be written off as something incredibly stupid.

Here's how technologically un-advanced my parents are: They have never had cable, they hardly know how to work an iPod, they can't tell the difference between an iPad and a Nook, they have never had a video game in their house, and now, because of the digital changeover, they don't even get TV reception. I think it's because their generation has never been able to keep up with technology. They say it's THEIR parents' generation that can't keep up, but that's not what Grandpa said on his podcast.

#5) On a less-aggrevating scale, Britain apparently considers itself to not be part of Europe. I just found that out. If that's not dumb, I don't know what is.

Bye!

<< I am very angry...