What the Flick? Movies Destroying America

Everyone, I have a very serious thing to talk to you about tonight: Movies Destroying America. It's not often that I feel compelled to comment on pop culture drivel such as the movies I will make you aware of now-- but I feel I must. Just so that someone else will share my pain.

First off-- a disgusting movie I saw a poster for called Hoodwinked Too! I felt like a complete idiot just TYPING those words. It's apparently about everyone's favorite naive little worn-out cliche, Little Red Riding Hood. Just sickening. I refuse to provide an image for this one. If you feel you must, just google it and you'll find something awful. But I am NOT gonna trash my blog's homepage with something like that.

Next up is Hop, a movie pandering to the obvious connection between Jesus coming back as a zombie (or something) and bunnies. In comparison to the aforementioned turd upon the cinemax, this movie isn't looking as bad. I will provide an image. Prepare yourself for a stupidity overload.

The most disgusting thing about this movie probably isn't just the fact that it was made as a blatant, almost deranged way of capitalizing off of the eggshell-like minds of the two-year-olds who watch swill like this. It's that it's currently the top of the box office. Something like that makes me want to puke.

Fortunately, there's a light at the end of the tunnel: Beverly Hills Cop IV is scheduled to come out in 2012, as is Star Trek II. And the sequel to Avatar should be in theaters by 2014. But until then, we must remain ever-vigilant against the animated-movie menace.

Bye!