Search This Blog

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Star Smores: Epic Load III: Rehash of the S***

Well, I'm very annoyed. The idiot math homework is incredibly dumb. I find it amazing that the guy who invented likelihood and probability was able to come up with a whole new math system, but couldn't figure out that the probability of him being detested by middle schoolers everywhere was about 1:1.
So, I was rooting through my secret boxes and evil compartments in my closet when I came across the dusty shoebox full of Star Wars characters that I collected when I was young and foolish. And I looked up some of the stuff on eBay--- and it's selling for double what I got it for. So, I plan on selling off my entire collection, except for some very, very rare things that even I, the least nostalgic person ever, could never part with.
<< Hmmmm... they say that someone with a larger lightsaber is compensating for smaller force capabilities. OH! NERD SLAM!
Anyway, this may be my last and final Star Wars related post. What a shame. No, actually, not really: I've been liking this whole franchise less and less recently. It was inevitable that I eventually try to capitalize off of my 'vintage Star Wars 1997 A New Hope Landspeeder with duel cockpits and whatever'. Oh, and if you want one of those, contact me at this number:
202-456-1111 HAHAHA! I LAUGH AT YOU IF YOU CALL THIS NUMBER!
In life, there are sometimes complete injustices. For instance, there's a website called ROTTEN TOMATOES that ranks movies based on critics' ratings using a tomatometer. Good movies get a red tomato, bad ones get a rotten green splat. Really good movies get a badge that reads 'Certified Fresh Tomatoes'. And no, I'm not talking about how the entire Star Wars series got red tomatoes-- I'm talking about how the Harry Potter series did. Wow. Just sad. I hate those movies.
So, in order to counterbalance the evilness of franchises like Star Wars and Harry Potter, I've decided to start an 'action figure' line of BAD MOVIE characters. My action figure has an inflating latex ego, while Willp's has an 'Epic Sword' toy and a Hypothalamus playset. In stores that are already filled with useless crap now!
Bye!

No comments:

Post a Comment