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Thursday, July 4, 2013

TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY

HEEEY, IT'S THE FOURTH OF JULY! AMERICA! F**K YEAAAAAAAA! Yes, on this historic day, The Declaration of Independence was signed (even though every signature was not collected on July 4th). Still, it's a great holiday. I watched National Treasure to get me in the spirit of American history, and then sat down for Independence Day, Roland Emmerich's greatest film and the greatest disaster movie ever made. For my full list of the best all-American July 4th movies, click HERE.

And it's a good day for America in more ways than one. In fact, it's been a good few weeks. Because the Supreme Court, in one of the most randomly intelligent decisions they have ever made, has overturned DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) and allowed for federal recognition of gay marriage for the first time in US history.

I know, I know-- I'm a little late on this one. Frankly, I'm enjoying my summer just a bit too much, and I've been watching movies endlessly into the night. So my usual blogging schedule has been thrown off drastically. I think this happens every summer, though... but who gives a shit. Apparently, I can take any news story and make it about me. So, GAYS CAN GAY MARRY! PRAISE THE LAWD! And now we can finally put to bed this long and utterly pointless conversation so that Republicans can stop delaying the inevitable and get on the right side of history... right?

WRONG. Within minutes of this story being reported, those f**king nuts were at it, screaming at the TV, in the streets, and on their radio shows. But screw them, they're bigoted assholes. This is not a time to cater to the crazy people of the land.



Yep, you would fall quite comfortably in that category, Rush.

Anyway, this is a big step forward for civil rights around the world. In fact, France recently legalized gay marriage as well. Of course, people took to the streets there and essentially 'stormed the Bastille' in hopes of ending la menace gay. But you know what they say. C'est la vie.

In other news, I'm getting ready to go on a trip to Oregon, during which I will visit Crater Lake, lava beds, and an enormous f**king swimming pool. This shall be a much-needed getaway. I've heard it's amazing; as long as you can get your indecisive and religiously cheap dad to decide on where to stay and what to eat while you're up there. Ten bucks says he eats nothing but salmon the entire trip.

Bye!

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