Blackier Than Thou

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, LEMON SQUEEZERS! Okay, that was insanely random. As you may have noticed from the title, today's blog is about a certain stupid comment by Rod Blagojevich, and it's the subject of today's installment of Dude, where's my dignity?

Rod Blagojevich. Hoo boy. At least now I can just say 'Blagojevich', everyone goes 'Oh, f***, what'd he do THIS time?', and we move on. But I think everyone's favorite disgraced governor (and boy, are there a lot of them). In an interview for Esquire Magazine, he made the insanely depraved comment that he was 'Blacker than Obama'. He then proceeded to make idiotic references to his 'black' upbringing. Fortunately, the former governor apologized soon after. Both Rod and his freakishly massive amount of hair are currently in disgrace.

Today's pearl of anti-wisdom: It's always good to go the extra mile--- unless you have a specific destination.

And now for another edition of my new feature, BETTER KNOW A CARTOONIST!!!! Today, MAD Magazine artist Tom Richmond!!!

Tom is one of MAD's senior artists. He illustrated such MAD epic spoofs as BOTCHMEN, 30 Crock, Zeroes, and The Dork Knight (spoofs on WATCHMEN, 30 Rock, Heroes, and The Dark Knight). He also made a guest appearance in Pearls Before Swine, in which he drew a perfect caricature of Barbara Streisand. He also won the national caricature award of 1999 and 1998.

Bye!!!

Stupid. The worst disease ever.

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, people! I have discovered the cause of all the world's problems. It is one disease. It is evil. It is....... STUPIDITY!!!

Yes, stupidity is the one evil disease that is killing us all... except, somehow, the people who have it. George Bush. Rush Limbaugh. Dick Cheney. Rod Blagojevich. Mark Sanford. Glenn Beck. All carriers of this horrid disease, yet unaffected by it themselves (Okay, Blagojevich and Sanford were affected, but not from the disease DIRECTLY).

Forget that. The POINT is that this disease is ravaging us in worse ways than the Bubonic Egg, an evil egg that marched rats through Europe in----

Oh. That's PLAGUE. What- EVERRRR! Still, here's a pic of the Bubonic Egg.

OOOOH, shiny. DEATH. DEATH. DEATH!!!!!

ANYway, the point is that stupidity is a disease that CANNOT BE STOPPED! In the words of Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist, 'THEY WILL KILL US!!!!!' It is the cause of---

*Global Warming. If we had not had stupid back when we invented cars, we would have enacted some strict emissions ban thingy.

*The Wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Paupa New Guinea. (We're not fighting one there? No? No one? Oh, well).

*Kim Jong Il. Hmmmmmmmm... Stupid? Yes.

*FOX News. Yep. Aaaaaaaall stupid.

Unless you count death as one of our problems (which, by the way, can't be avoided. Believe me, I've tried), then you have every problem in the world caused by one disease--- Stupid. That's TOPIC OF INTEREST. I'll see ya soon.